Women sacrifice too much for men

Today at Nehanda Radio.com we introduce our new columnist on women’s issues Rutendo Tapiwa Chigudu. She is an award winning literary and performing artist/feminist who firmly believes that we are all entitled to human rights regardless of our age, gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orienatiion, traditional/cultural background.

Introducing myself and my column: Phenomenal Tendo Shares

By Rutendo Tapiwa Chigudu

I am a young, creative and passionate woman who believes in dreaming big. I love women as I identify myself as a feminist and I am unapologetic about it. Do not get me wrong, I love women in the purest sense of the word and do not harbor any sexual desires where they are concerned.

My blood runs cold when I hear of a woman being abused, especially by a man. I am a survivor of domestic violence and I recall telling my then husband that one day I would start speaking to people about my experiences at his hands although he did not think that I would do so.

I share freely from my own experiences and I want to always encourage women to stand up for themselves, reach for their dreams and just love themselves.

I feel most women do not love themselves enough and sacrifice too much of themselves for men (husbands, lovers, boyfriends and at times even their own fathers) as well as for their children and extended families (parents, siblings, in-laws).

Here is a young woman who believes in speaking out her mind and this has not always sat well with a lot of a people but still I will speak. I speak, not because I seek popularity rather because I seek relevance.

My dad encouraged me (and my siblings) to speak out and in the folds of ‘love’ and seeking popularity I had almost lost it.

So excuse me, I have a great memory to protect and uphold, I have three years of self-sacrifice for which I have to make up and I have a me to reclaim, love and explore so I will speak.

I speak on anything and everything, especially that which comes into my heart and is impressed on my mind. My voice will not speak just for me but also for any woman whose story, thoughts, feelings and experiences I feel ought to be heard.

I am very much aware that I have been blessed enough to be given the voice and the platform to speak, many a woman have died in abusive situations, some have gotten out but have not found their voices whilst even more do not even know that they in abusive situations.

Therefore I speak, not only on issues relating to women but I ‘dare go there’ with issues considered taboo and ‘not to be spoken out loudly/ in public or by a woman’. I have found my voice and I will use it, if only to prove to myself that I am getting acquainted with the me I had ‘sacrificed on the alter of love and marriage’.

The me you will come across here, is a woman who is confident yet also has many a fear, a woman who speaks yet has many a thing she still keeps deep inside her, a woman who loves so deeply and passionately yet is so scared to love again, a woman who is a skeptic yet believes in all things good.

Here is a woman who is simple yet complicated, a woman who, when she hit rock bottom started digging yet she is alive today and is aiming for the moon, dreaming so big she wakes up sweating as if from a nightmare, an unapologetic and phenomenal woman whose mantra is “Still I rise” to quote from the great and living legend Maya Angelou.

Welcome to my exciting, depressing, loving, controversial and adventure-filled world.

Rutendo Tapiwa Chigudu is an award winning literary and performing artist/feminist who firmly believes that we are all entitled to human rights regardless of our age, gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orienatiion, traditional/cultural background.