Social media always throws a hot topic. The glare of increased public attention is like a magnifying glass focusing the sun’s rays on human skin. Social media can drive people suicidal.
We were glad to hear of plans for a festival to recognize Oliver Mtukudzi.
Mtukudzi sang brave lyrics during the war that inspired a rebellion. After independence, he sang compelling lyrics in songs like “Jerry,” “Ngoma Nehosho,” “Chimusoro” and “Nyanga ye Nzou.” He had a convincing voice and persona. Sadly, his career later bordered on bankruptcy.
His career really took off, in the mid 1990s, when he composed the song “Neria” for a movie that was then renamed “Neria” featuring Jesesi Mungoshi. The movie and the song were successful. The legacy of the movie, in which he also acted, was to change inheritance laws but sadly not attitudes.
Mtukudzi married Melody in the 1970s. They had Sandra and Selmor. They divorced and Mtukudzi married Daisy. They had Samantha and Sam, as well as Faith a stepchild.
Melody would claim, when Mtukudzi died, that she left him because she would not accept a polygamous relationship. When Mtukudzi was bankrupt, Melody raised the two girls. She worked in a bank.
Mtukudzi had other kids, called Sybil and Selby.
Daisy has claimed a single-handed role in building the Tuku empire in the media. Ostensibly, this refers to the unprecedented global boom and commercial success Mtukudzi enjoyed from 1998.
One factor has been grossly underplayed: Debbie Metcalfe, one of the best managers ever. She rebranded Mtukudzi and arranged production with producers like Steve Dyer who gave the ‘Tuku’ brand a new lease of life.
Mtukudzi groomed an extra-ordinary son, Sam, to continue his legacy. Sadly, Sam died on March 15, 2010.
Mtukudzi would never experience money problems again until his death in 2019. His estate made the headlines when Daisy received everything left behind by Mtukudzi.
Plans to celebrate the mega star were announced recently. A star studded lineup was announced featuring leading Zimbabwean artists. Daughter, Selmor Mtukudzi, was missing provoking unprecedented public outrage.
On September 11 a social media battle of attrition reached its peak. The organisers were forced to headline with Tuku’s musical heir apparent, a magnanimous response from both parties.
Selmor was added later responded: ““To all who spoke up for me, you have been amazing. I’m humbled by the love you have for my father which has extended over to me. I will not take it for granted.
“For that reason and in honour of my father’s legacy, I will be coming to Pakare Paye. Let’s do this right. I love you all.”
Sandra would also be returning from the UK for the event.
Daisy told The Herald: “I am tired of that issue because people will always put the blame on me. I was told by the event organisers that she was not picking up her calls. Selmor was supposed to be at the forefront leading us, but she is difficult.
“I will not lose sleep over people planning a boycott since it will change nothing. I don’t know what people want me to do for Selmor because she is not a minor anymore. She knows the right thing to do for the sake of protecting the family name.”
The wisdom of these ominous words will always be debatable.
Some fans expected Selmor to sing and perform in a way that would prove her worth. I didn’t really understand how. Music is sung in keys and arrangements that are already set which often requires peace of mind and concentration.
When one is highly emotional the wrong song can be triggering. And this is exactly what happened.
Selmor Mtukudzi got unfair comparisons with her father. Tuku hated being compared to anyone. Musicians can be hypersensitive.
Selmor’s upbringing had its challenges, like a step situation, an absentee father, and being raised by a single parent who sometimes bore the whole burden of child rearing.
Oliver and Daisy had some presence in her life. She worked for her father touring with the band. Selmor has grown to be a role model.
Daisy claims they did all a parent can for Selmor in a material way. But child rearing may be more complex than that. The issues at the heart of this dispute are not about music or musical talent.
Talent exists in abundance in Selmor and Shami. But ignoring their human side and needs is cruel and unfair.
Selmor rightly sings her father’s songs. All music needs performances to push royalties and keep the music alive and relevant. She is doing the copyright owners a favour and accruing royalties.
Now, let’s return to the festival. This was not just about music.
Selmor’s opening song, and her protracted absence from Pakare Paye seem to have been particularly triggering. Just moments into the song “Changu chii” (originally done by her dad), the unbelievable happened.
Selmor experienced a psychological meltdown. She couldn’t sing. She couldn’t compose herself and she couldn’t control herself. She expressed herself honestly in one revealing paragraph. She couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“I have always wanted to be on this stage. For seven years I have wanted to be on this stage. I do not know if the dead can hear what we say, I would like to thank my father for building such a facility but zvavaida hazvisi zviri kuitika nhasi (what he wanted is not what is happening),” she said on stage. “Kusvika rinhi muchindirwira? Ndosvika rinhi ndisingakwanise kuita semwana waMtukudzi?”
Her evening was done. Daisy would later complain to The Herald that: “At least the world has witnessed all the drama. I know people will still attack me, but what have I done to deserve this embarrassment?”
We could sympathise more with depression or mental health issues. People are no longer supposed to tough it out. To reduce a meltdown to ‘drama’ is cowardly.
Wadzanayi Garwe wrote: “My personal opinion it is the parent’s responsibility to parent. Selmor is a child of divorce. No one knows what she witnessed as her parents’ marriage disintegrated. She is stuck in that memory. Her father failed her. I am sorry Selmor.
“This story playing out publicly is a testament to a man’s selfish pursuit of his dream. I love Tuku. He is my favorite artist of all time. He is also a terrible father. “
Wadzanai described herself as ‘a mother of two young adults, an Amazon best-selling author, a mental health and HIV activist, an executive coach, a mentor and a firm believer in the power of economic empowerment.’
The name ‘Wadzanai’ means ‘reconcile,’ or ‘live in harmony’ in Shona.
She added: “A father who absented himself from his biological children and yet was an icon and a musical prodigy. Tuku was human. He made mistakes and as a father he left Selmor with serious ‘Daddy issues’. He destroyed the trust of a young girl and her inner child is not ok.”
“Parents, it is not the child’s responsibility to build the relationship. No matter the age. The impetus is on the parent to ensure that the child feels loved. It’s not about his physical assets. It’s about his legacy as a father. He’s a deadbeat Dad who failed to co-parent.”
“To all those Dads watching this painful testimony play out, do better. Children don’t need money. They need love and acceptance.“
Garwe’s assertions were met with mixed emotions.
Loveness Marambire said: “Let the man rest in peace. Too much bitterness is not healthy. The platform to air her grievances was not right.”
Wadzanai Thelma Tongoona: “I grew up under the same circumstances. You gave meaning and verbatim to my emotions “an after-thought”. I always felt like an after-thought, years after my dad’s passing, family members have carried on treating me like an after-thought.”
Peggy Nyamandi: “Unfortunately this is so common. Especially in Zimbabwe. They get to a certain age , find all sorts of faults with their wives and leave the home and have their fun elsewhere. Formative years are crucial to children’s upbringing and this is where mental issues come in . They then accuse the mother of turning children against them . When they realise it’s too late . The children are scarred and have issues of trust. They feel abandoned.”
Monica Kunzekweguta responded: “I agree with you that the responsibility lies with the dad in this case, I strongly feel step mums can also do their best to bring the children together or encourage their husband to support their children. Her kids and the husband’s kids from the previous marriage are immediate relatives… He ignored his own children but picked up some from the streets and raised them…what was that all about?”
Simbiso Marasha said: “You are spot on. Proverbs 13 v22 says: ‘A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children.’ That inheritance is not just money. Leave good memories. Be a present parent. Selma seems to yearn for that identity, acknowledgement, that bond. That sense of belonging and not just the name.“
It’s impossible to honor Tuku without addressing these issues. This question is who is going to take more of the responsibility? By coming to Palare Paye, where she had been initially snubbed, Selmor was largely seen as accommodating. By relenting, Daisy did the right thing. But continuous biting remarks will not soften perceptions.
Selmor is raising Ben, Troy and Hannah Manatsa who are Tuku’s grand-children. Inheritance issues and settlements should really be fair and accommodate these future generations in view of their status as grandchildren of a national hero.
There are implications. “Kugara nhaka kuona dzevamwe,” as Mtukudzi sang. ‘imitate others when leaving behind an inheritance.’
Some parents distribute shares in their business while they are still alive or take care of their kids via family trusts and make sure none becomes destitute or below the expected family standard. Their motivation is genuine love and not just tolerance.
Some say Selmor is now a Manatsa and should not mind Mtukudzi business. Why invite her to the festival then? This puts into focus the girl child and inheritance issues today and possible marginalisation.
Shami was a Nengomasha though now divorced. Faith is Tuku’s step child. The latter are not complaining. All children need to be treated fairly.
Step parenting is possible but one needs to be sensitive and know their limits, especially when the biological mum is still alive. Of course, there is no love lost between these two.
Daisy also has to avoid making Selmor choose between Daisy and her mum. The nation must not be forced to choose either side.
Daisy did well to invite Selmor eventually. In essence she took care of the musician in Selmor. But did she take care of Selmor THE person?
