By Tytan Skhokho
Since the airing of my story on the Rumbidzai show, a lot has happened and has also been said. This will be the last detailed statement that I will put out in regards to MY PERSONAL LIFE!
1. I would never leak my daughters birth records, nor do I possess them. All of my daughters medical records are currently with her mother and have always been with her mother. What is baffling to me is how these records have mysteriously been released and conveniently just as I received a lot of abusive and damaging messages both directly and indirectly for sharing MY OWN STORY!
2. I have set back for almost a year and watched my name and my reputation destroyed and have remained silent throughout the hundreds of live videos and thousands if not millions of comments from strangers attacking me.
3. Some social media influencers have milked every bit of my ordeal for ratings with no regard whatsoever on the effects of their behaviour. They continue to advertise as “supporters” and yet they use their platforms to cause a lot of pain and offer damaging advise to my ex.
4. It is never my intention to cause harm to anyone, more so to my ex, she is someone I loved whole heartedly, we were best friends, hence why I left out a lot of the other very graphic details of the things that transpired during and after our relationship.
5. The only reason why I included the part about how I discovered disheartening information that should have been shared prior to me engaging in unprotected sex was because it is part of abuse. Everyone should be given an opportunity to make an informed decision especially when something can be life altering. The same way my ex felt justified to “bare her all”, I also have the same right and yet I still left out a lot of details in an attempt to protect her and the other people involved. My intention was not to destroy but to find a therapeutic way of also sharing my ordeal.
6. There have been a lot of lies that have been peddled into the public domain, including the fact that I once left my daughter with strangers, which never happened hence why the case was cancelled by the judge. These lies have been used to sensationalise the public and at first it’s all entertainment but behind each lie is a real human being.
7. I begged my ex for both of us to stop addressing our issues online (various emails available), however these pleas fell on deaf ears. My ex’s most trusted advisers are individuals who run a social media platform that has enjoyed its success by “airing” real people’s issues with no plan to support anyone involved after the airing.
8. I do not hate my ex neither do I want to cause her harm, however just like everyone else I reached a breaking point and I had to share my story as honestly as I could in an environment where I was at least allowed to control part of the narrative. (FYI this was not an expose’) everything that is perceived as sensitive that I shared was only shared after discovering that it was already shared publicly on other pages in previous years and this was not about her but about me and how I was constantly falsely accused of being a cheat by someone who had a bigger and deeper secret. I merely shared how much pain, shock and heartbreaking it was for me to discover that someone who was hell bent on exposing my “bad side” everyday conveniently left out all the things they did to me including keeping a horrible secret.
9. It has now become clear to me that domestic abuse towards men is not important and this is not only based on the reaction to my story but also on how many people over the past year have insulted me, attacked me and even threatened my safety even in my silence.
10. I would like to apologize to all my fans and followers who felt offended by some of what I shared as part of my story, however, it was therapeutic to finally get an opportunity to have a voice after being silenced for almost 2 years due to my calm character. Had my ex never brought our issues to the public, I would have never had to defend myself, it is out of character for me.
11. My name was called out countless times and I accused of things that never happened and yet I also have evidence of chats with her ex’s and other men. Even after I was made to sleep outside or when I was physically attacked for texting or talking to friends innocently, never did I go live to bash my ex. Not one day have I dragged anyone’s name into my situation and that is how it will remain.
12. My ultimate priority has always been and will continue to be making sure my daughter and I have a loving relationship. I have so much that I am now working on in order to make sure I am in a position to be able to provide for my daughter.
13. I have constantly been accused of only wanting a visa from my ex. If that was the case I would have stayed with her for the required 5 years and obtained my papers and then left. For me to have given all that you think was great about my relationship up should be proof enough that it was unbearable for me.
There are some situations that can never be resolved and I hope one day I will be able to truly find peace and healing and to be set free from the controlling, calculated plots that are being made against me everyday.
One thing I am finally able to say is I am a victim of abuse and I am finally working through it with the support of my friends and family. I am not embarrassed about my story as I know I am not the only one to have gone through this.
I hope everyone who is a victim of abuse will find the support they require because staying silent and harbouring your pain can be deadly. I hope you will find the courage to also speak up even if it is not popular.