Yaya Rudo answers your real life questions. She offers her advice to readers on their everyday issues. Write to her on [email protected]
1. No sign of a marriage proposal
Q. Dear Yaya: I am 25 years old , my partner of three years is almost 31. We love each other a lot and we spent all our free time together. I have no reason to doubt his love for me . The problem Yaya is that we have been dating for more than 3 years but no word on marriage not even jokingly . What should I do ? (Waiting for proposal EN)
A. Dear Waiting for proposal EN
I am happy to hear that you are in a happy relationship . Please remember that generally speaking , women mature faster than man. It is possible that you are ready for marriage while he still needs a bit more time. The length of the courtship period does not equal to being ready for marriage.
You can not or you should not hurry marriage. When he is ready he will propose, meanwhile your relationship sounds stable enough to talk about future plans without putting him under pressure. It shall be well with you – Yaya
2. Things are misfiring
Q. Dear Yaya: I am a 32 year old woman. I have been married for 6 years now. Things are great my husband is a great provider but the problem is things are misfiring in the bedroom but culture says I must not complain. I tried talking to my aunt but she does not want to hear of it because “ I am well taken care off financially“ Should I continue pretending I”am happy? (C.C).
A. Dear C.C
It is unfortunate that culture assumes that men have all the answers. The truth is they do not have all the others -no one has. I believe these matters should involve the two people involved only. Bedroom matters are sensitive and should be protected.
You are therefore looking for answers from the wrong person. Modern husbands may not be impressed if their home affairs are shared with outsiders with no effort to talk to them first. You are the one affected, you are the one in the marriage communicate with your husband.
Find a diplomatic way of talking about this without undermining him as a husband and a man. I would suggest that you focus on how to improve communication between the two of you. You will be pleasantly surprised he also wants you to be happy in that area of life – (Yaya)
3. College money blues
Q. Dear Yaya: Things are tough and I seem to live from hand to mouth every month. I am in my final year at college. What can I do to have extra income as a young person in college? (College Blues).
A. Dear College Blues
It is no doubt a difficult season for most people with income being reduced or cut out completely. I would like to encourage you and other young people to keep your eyes on the opportunities being birthed in this Covid 19 season. It is easy to focus on what we lost.
Start with what you have or what you can offer. Make a list of things that you are good at. Maybe you can sing, write, teach, cook, knit , build things or fix things. Find a way of how you can monetize the skills you already have. Research on how you can do what you do online.
How can you reach the market around you and other markets. Check on how you can collaborate with others. Sometimes you have to be more deliberate about looking for solutions.
“Dear Yaya” readers can send in their real life personal problems and have professional skills development facilitator, speaker, life coach and writer Yaya Rudo answer them.
Write to her on [email protected]