Broken but WITH a plan: Lemonade Makers with Yaya Rudo
By Yaya Rudo
Somewhere around mid November 2016 my husband quickly made a u-turn home a few minutes after he had left. The heat-wave was at its pick, he had forgotten sun block for the children. He found me right on the floor with my cleaning bucket, mop and duster around me.
I had literally broken down; the strain of grief had caught up with me in full. Please understand that, having been raised by a widow my mother was the only parent I got to know.
For all practical purposes my siblings and I lost our father and mother in one person. Mama came with fantastic add ons like being my first nurse, my public speaking coach, teacher, friend, and in-house evangelists. She was my best side. Losing her was bound to hurt – hurt really bad.
My husband was not at all impressed with the state he found me in. He had of course asked me many times how I was coping before this official break down. He had asked if I needed any support to help me heal – a pastor or may be a grief counsellor. I had responded the same way, ‘I am fine’. I HAD to be fine after all every one said I HAD to be strong.
I have a spouse who is rarely poetic but on this day his words sounded like something Charles Dickens would throw in on a casual tea break. It just spoke to me.
‘You cannot be broken without a plan.‘ Please note being broken in itself is accepted but what is not acceptable is not having a plan to get out of the brokenness.
This is the most empowering line I have heard in years. I had to develop some kind of plan on how I was going to make steps towards healing and acceptance of mama’s passing. I was busy drowning in grief, I did not realize that I still had power, I still had a say in how the next day would unfold.
We all get broken at some point in life some more than others. It is expected after all we live in a broken world with broken people someone is bound to get hurt. It will be very naive to think one can just cruise through life dodging all the lemons thrown at us.
I have come to realize that there is a massive difference when you are broken WITHOUT a plan and when you are broken WITH a plan. You have to be deliberate about making a plan; do not wait for a special feel good moment to kick in order to start developing a plan.
After my little episode, I started crafting a plan that I believed was reasonable, I felt it was achievable and I gave myself a year to complete it. Top of the list was: I would not pretend to be strong. I am a creative, mama always pointed out that I was not using all my natural gifts – I planned to write more, teach more and act more.
As I followed through with my plan, not only did it keep me busy I became more thankful as I moved from focusing on the loss. I must say out of that brokenness I have experienced spiritual growth and fulfilment that I never experienced in my happiest moments. My one year plan renewed my mind, I am still following the plan this is my 3rd year.
Some of your wow moments, some of our brightest ideas are going to come out of brokenness but we have to have a plan -it will not happen on its own. It is one thing to acknowledge the brokenness but a plan on what to make of it is the real deal. I do not know how broken you are as you read this.
I do not know who hurt you or who is hurting you right now -do not just acknowledge the brokenness, look it in the eye and proclaim your plan. This is the mindset needed to be Lemonade Makers. Acknowledge- Have a Plan – Action.
Let me know how you plan to deal with your brokenness. Being broken without a plan is dangerous. I raise my glass to Lemonade Makers who are willing to make a plan and put it in to action. Indeed -You cannot be broken without a plan.
2019 Powered by his grace and mercy
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