Through the Wire: The Bishop from Hell

By Lance Guma

Apologies I failed to go ‘Through the Wire’ last week as my energies were deployed towards upgrading our servers (twice) in order to cope with the growing traffic to the website.

To quote a phrase often used and abused by politicians in Zimbabwe, “I was seized with the matter.”  I am happy to report the deed is done and readers and listeners to the site are benefiting from the power and speed of the new server.

This is Big Brother, Kunonga you have been evicted, you may now leave the Anglican Cathedral

The Zanu PF controlled state media is running around like headless chickens trying to convince us that President Robert Mugabe and his party had and have nothing to do with excommunicated Anglican ‘Bishop’ Nolbert Kunonga.

We would need pea size brains to believe that for over 5 years Kunonga was more powerful than the Head of State, Head of Government, Commander-in-Chief of the Zimbabwe Defence Forces, First Secretary of the revolutionary Zanu PF party and his Excellency the 88 year old President Robert Mugabe.

For over 5 years Zanu PF youth militia, the police and state security agents provided round the clock security for Kunonga. Parishioners loyal to Bishop Chad Gandiya and the main Anglican Church were tear-gassed on several occasions for trying to access church premises under Kunonga’s control.

But during Zanu PF Politburo meetings Mugabe was beginning to question the logic of supporting an unpopular Bishop who was alienating Zanu PF from millions of Anglicans in the country. Mysteriously the Supreme Court sprang into action after a 5 year slumber and evicted the Bishop from Hell.

Police chief Augustine Chihuri calls for peace…..yawnnnnnn

Police Commissioner-General Augustine Chihuri has urged politicians to preach peace as the country drifts towards the referendum and harmonised elections. We would not need that ‘preaching’ if the police just did their job, don’t you think?

Anyway, according to Chihuri, Mugabe (the man behind the Gukurahundi Massacres, Operation Murambatsvina and the June 2008 violence after he lost elections) has been ‘resolute’ in condemning violence.

Because of this Chihuri was also urging political leaders to follow suit.

“I urge political leaders to continue with the message of peace and ensure that overzealous members do not tarnish the critical processes (of Constitution-making process and elections,” Chihuri said (most likely tongue in cheek).

Chihuri once told us they would not respect the outcome of national elections because “this country came through blood and the barrel of the gun and it can never be re-colonised through a simple pen, which costs as little as five cents.”

Chihuri should win our confidence by first ordering the arrest of everyone involved in the June 2008 crackdown that saw an estimated 500 opposition activists butchered to death for the ‘crime’ of voting Morgan Tsvangirai to victory over a shell shocked Mugabe in the March 2008 presidential election.

Top cop loses job over Tsvangirai picture

Still with the police force run by Chihuri, there are reports that a Gwanda-based police officer has been branded ‘a danger to society’ and sacked from his job for allegedly possessing a picture of MDC-T leader Morgan Tsvangirai.

Assistant Inspector William Mutsago is said to have told his bosses that he was not responsible for the picture, which was saved on a memory card. He was nevertheless fired without compensation.

Those with a long memory will remember Assistant Inspector Tedious Chisango who was last year fired for playing Simudza Ngerengere, a song by MDC-T parliamentarian Paul Madzore. Chisango stationed at Ntabazinduna just outside Bulawayo, was accused of “teaching police recruits on regime change”.

So there you have it folks, clear evidence, while the bosses at the top of the police, army and CIO trees sing praises of Mugabe and the regime, while looting diamonds and anything else they can lay their hands on, the junior officers at the bottom (the majority) actually support the opposition.

Ncube MDC has more leaders than followers

This was a widely paddled joke on social media forums but on a more serious note the smaller MDC faction led by Professor Welshman Ncube needs a better response to defections than what their spokespeople are dishing out currently.

Since 2005 the party has suffered from the defections of dozens of MP’s, hundreds of rural district councillors and other party officials. Each time new defections are announced the party responds by insulting the defectors.

A resort to insults suggests you are bitter.

A better way of handling this publicly is to acknowledge the right of members to freely choose the party they want to join and wish them well. This should also be followed by internal party introspection on why members are defecting.

There is no point in burying your heads in the sand pretending everything is okay while high profile members like MP’s and councillors are running away like goats who have sighted a hyena.

Reports last month that the Ncube formation had fired eight legislators and 49 councillors on allegations of defecting to MDC-T sounded rather childish and betrayed bitterness. How do you fire someone who has already defected?

You can e-mail [email protected] or follow him on twitter @LanceGuma