There is a lot of unwanted help floating around…. Do not just take everything
By Yaya Rudo
When life gives you lemons a lot of the people around you may suddenly turn into marriage counselors, qualified medical doctors, lawyers, teachers, men and women of God, technical advisors or even dreamers and prophets. They probably mean well and want to help but do not be coerced into anything you do not trust, believe in, do not know or understand.
Just because you reached rock bottom does not mean you just take any advice that comes along. Even when lemons are thrown at you “help “must line up with your values and beliefs. Do not just take everything – zano pangwa une rako.
We have a daughter who struggled with asthma from the time she was 9 months old. I lost track of how many times I took days off to be in the emergency rooms or ICU with her.
The struggle was particularly fierce from the age of 3 right up to the age of 12. It was a difficult season and other mothers sympathized with me.
Believe me when I say; someone would come into my office with their own cure for asthma. Colleagues would narrate how their neighbour’s daughter, cousin, nephew or friend’s child had been healed of terrible asthma attacks. It was fascinating listening to their stories, they meant well.
These colleagues had seen my stress levels and fear each time I rushed to the hospital. At the three major hospitals in Harare, they knew us by name; we even had a preferred corner bed for nebulising. We had been there far too many times to be forgotten by the nursing staff.
It was just entertaining and almost humorous to see how everyone thought their asthma cure proposal was the best. They believed my daughter would be healed too. You cannot believe some of the stuff brought to me in the name of medicine. Honey was one of them but it had the bees in it. The lifeless bees were said to be part of the medicinal ingredients.
The most hilarious was when my then boss brought me elephant dung all the way from Kariba. He really must have hated my many trips to the emergency rooms during working hours.
The instruction was to burn the dry dung and my daughter would them breath in the smoke from the dung. There was no manual to the process. I did not know how much dung was to be burnt, approved period of inhaling the smoke and the amount of time spent on this exercise.
The last one which knocked my mother off the chair involved boiling the leaves of fresh weed and letting the patient inhale the steam. Forget about weed being illegal, no recipe for the concoction was received; I did not know how many cups or spoons of weed leaves would do the trick.
It was not clear how many times a day this medication would be administered. What if this triggered dependency on weed and of course the possibility of being charged for possessing weed! It was a circus but I still believe they meant well, they saw my pain.
My point is, there is a lot of unwanted help floating around, lemonade makers need to learn to discern. You might be the one who messed up, have your own values that guide you as you try to make lemonade. Do not be a “yes man” just because you made mistakes. Take your time – do you.
I raise my glass to lemonade makers who come back their way.
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