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AFCON 2017 Africa’s Prophets gone on Holiday

By Peter Kachapulampupu

The Africa Cup of Nations is upon us now and one thing that has been conspicuous by its absence is the flurry of prophecies and predictions by the so called Men of God of the likely outcome in this tournament. I “googled” and searched the web to make sure I did not miss a single “prophecy” from our fine prophets of Africa. But alas there is none indeed, not on You Tube, not on Tweeter, not on Facebook and not on Whatsapp; nowhere on social media will you find a prophecy on the possible outcome of the AFCON tournament.

TB Joshua

In Nigeria, this is the stuff of the T B Joshuas of this world, they thrive on throwing a few hints into the air for the congregates to have it stuck in their heads that something like that was once mentioned, in preparation of doctoring the videos at a later stage to fit the outcome, but this time around nothing from the man.

I mean, this is a man who has thrown a prophecy on practically everything happening in the world, from the next earthquake, flood, death of a president, artist, which dead artist is in hell to the next terror attack and the next president (oops, don’t go there) but this time, the silence is deafening, honestly. I guess Joshua has too much on his plate at the moment to try and conjure a miracle fake prophecy on the AFCON, what with the 116 deaths court case refusing to go away and a prophecy from one Nigerian prophet about T B Joshua’s own impending death?

Closer to home, our own Bulawayo based Blessing Chiza, our own soccer prophet, decided to stay clear from telling the nation how the Warriors were going to fare in the tournament after he misfired when he promised the Warriors that they would beat Libya by something like 3-1. Needless to say the Warriors went on to be thumped by the Libyans and our dear prophet started looking around for excuses. Ever since we have not heard any football result prediction coming from the direction of koBulawayo, and this is understandable. He wouldn’t want to get his prophesying cap burnt twice.

In the vicinity of Zindoga the warriors were not summoned this time for some anointing neither did any cash windfall come their way. The prophet with a PHD in practically everything, except of course prophesying, our versatile Walter Magaya didn’t want to take chances with the unpredictable Warriors like what he once did.

He once took a shot at this football prediction game and told all who cared to listen that after blessing the Young Warriors, he wouldn’t  reveal the final score but that there would be a penalty in the match the Young Warriors were about to play against Cameroon. In that match, a penalty is the only thing the football fans did not see. From that time Magaya exited the perilous field of football prophecy and has dared not be seen next to the national team again.

Enter the Tweeter Prophet, the dodgy Papa whose tweets we only get to see well after all the football kits and balls have been cleaned and packed away and the turf has been repaired. Enter Uebert Angel (Mudzanire) you can’t put it past this guy that he will release several backdated Tweets all telling us the correct results of all the major games and who is going to get to the finals and who the final winner will be.

All we have to do is wait for the tournament to end and book a date with the press of the 6th of February 2017 and you will be able to see all of Papa’s correct predictions, “Just like you said it Papa the results came out exactly like that”, will read some of the congratulatory tweets from his blue-eyed partners in crime trying hard to make it all look authentic.

We will leave 777, (not 007) Emmanuel Makandiwa out of this, I have never heard him stake his tattered credibility on football results, the mushrooming gold, cracking Kariba wall and fat loss have done enough damage to him already. Maybe he has already told the prophecy to his privileged partners only, like he always does, remember the Hillary Clinton prophecy?

But to be honest none of the showy so called prophets, the whole breath and width of the African continent dared stack their credibility with attempting to predict the outcome of a single match let alone the results of the final match of the African Cup of Nations 2017.

It’s not a risk worth taking, what are the chances of taking a wild guess out of 16 teams and come out with the correct final winner? Even the Polls are not helping these guys much, they are deafeningly silent on who could be the possible winner, what with all the big names absent from or doing badly at the tournament.

None of the men of god wants to go the TB Joshua Clinton way and later try to offer some lame excuses as to why the result did not come out the way they had said it. T B Joshua taught them all never to put your trust in the opinion Polls because surely you will lose church customers (because they bring the prophets lots of money). The simple reason they make and publish these guesses disguised as prophecies is to attract the miracle seekers and the gullible who bring along their hard earned money and leave it in the hands of these charlatans disguised as men of God.

Safe to say we won’t be seeing any of these fake prophets touch the AFCON 2017 with a budge pole, they are staying away from this one indeed; memories of the USA Elections are still fresh in the memories of all their customers and the world at large.

I don’t believe that God, in all his Might, can be so fascinated by worldly things such as football, when there are so many sinners that the All Mighty would wish they could hear his message. It goes to show that the football result prophecies or predictions are not from God, these men of fine suits are just mere sorcerers out to get your money by means of impressing you with thing that are not of God.

BONZO reSVOSVE

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