By Isadore Guvamombe
It arguably, is one of the most jaw-dropping proposals to be made in the August House of an independent, moral and sane Zimbabwe. Yet some of our supposedly Honourable Members of Parliament had the guts to tell us: “Legalise prostitution”.
And the reason – because they are “pleasure managers” and “pleasure engineers who work 24/7” as put by one female legislator, Thabitha Khumalo.
“People who sell their bodies for a living are not prostitutes. The word ‘prostitute’ is a derogatory term, which seeks to humiliate and undress them. I would prefer to call them pleasure managers,” said Khumalo. Now that should be the stuff of shebeens.
But first of all, a brief background will suffice. You guessed right: the weird proposal came from none other than the party of ‘sexcellence’ that claims to be a ‘party of excellence’.
It is the party that gave us – or is it cursed us with – the stripping ambassador. Is it not the party that gave us another antidote – man must be immobilised to have sex once a month, to reduce, blah blah blah!
Hezvoko, bwa, bwa one time!
Is it not, dear reader, the same party that gave us a man who said women are inferior to men and that those who are HIV-positive must be quarantined?
Now is it not the same party that gave us a director general who bedded a junior in yonder, the City of Kings and queens too? Was there no one also called Chimbaira or is it Chimbambaira in Chitungwiza? Was he not fingered too in something along the ‘sexcellence’ lines?
(Only this month MAGUNJE legislator Franco Ndambakuwa (Zanu-PF) was arrested on allegations of raping a 15-year-old girl amid indications that 10 more rape charges are likely to be preferred against him.)
Now we hear that prostitutes are pleasure managers and this coming from a whole MP, a mother, a sister, a daughter an aunt, niece and all other roles and caps that our very African society bestows on its own. And what should people who relate to the MP feel? Surely, it would have been laughable were it not so tragic.
No one begrudges that prostitution is vaunted to be the world’s oldest profession.
But even where it has been legalised, in the rotten and rotting Western world, it still draws contempt, even where it involves big monies and big names of politicians and footballers.
(Mugabe’s spokesman George Charamba regularly frequents brothels in the Avenues in Harare, picking up prostitutes)
Now, pursuing this liberal trajectory of legalising prostitution, what are we to gain from it? They will be contributing some taxes, understandably, but what greater tax will that impose on our morality and families of wives whose husbands will be given pleasure by prostitutes.
So these prostitutes are now pleasure engineers, then can Khumalo tell us what our wives are? Are they also pleasure engineers or Khumalo suggests that they are un-pleasurable?
What an abomination!
(On the 24th February 2005 Mugabe spokesman George Charamba who has a black belt in Karate battered his wife Rudo after she accused him of infecting her with the deadly HIV virus that causes AIDS. Close associates said the beating was an attempt to kill her. Not only did he severely beat up Rudo but he also went on to beat up her baby.)
Now the same pleasure does come at a price, financially. And then there is the scourge of HIV. The lady in question should be quite happy with another woman pleasuring her husband – if she has any – surely?
Or she does intend to pleasure somebody else if that will be the case? In a straight face, Khumalo’s pleasure engineers should count on her vote if the matter is to be debated in Parliament.
Khumalo is also a chairperson with a Southern Africa Development Community committee tasked with curtailing the scourge of HIV and Aids. This is another MDC-T import.
Hailing from the same party is Matobo Senator Sithembile Mlotshwa who said men should be injected with an immobiliser so that they can have sex once a month to curb the spread of HIV and Aids. That is MDC-T for you.
Senator Mlotshwa, whose CV this villager is not sure of, is yet another female from the party of sexcellence. Hail this party.
The village soothsayer, that ageless fountain of wisdom, who has a huge memory bank under his skull, reminded this villager that once upon a time, the party of sexecellence had one Timothy Mubhawu of Mabvuku, who claimed that women were inferior to men and at some stage suggested that HIV positive people be quarantined.
Mabvuku is east of Harare and while they say the wise come from the east, there must have been a dearth of wise ones in that direction. So in the land of milk and honey and dust or Guruve if you want, questions abound.
Why is this political monster obsessed with sex? Villagers would want to know why this party is all about sex and sex scandals? Can we honestly vote someone into Parliament to talk about “pleasure managers” managing the pleasure on behalf of our wives.
The village soothsayer had questions and comments for Honourable Khumalo. “If prostitution is legalised, are the clients going to be receipted? Will the Zimbabwe Revenue Authority tax the pleasure engineers?
And, then what is going to be of this country and the legacy of our ancestors?”
But honestly can we entrust our country into the hands of these people? What breed of men and women are these ones? The soothsayer says if the party of “sexcellence” is allowed to run this country, there will be a curse bestowed upon us by the ancestors. Sodom and Gomorah is in the making.
(According to eyewitness testimonies, on the 5th May 2008 Zanu PF fanatic Joseph Chinotimba, in the company of his cousin, raped an MDC-T member in Buhera. He threatened Idah Munyukwi with a gun before raping her twice.)
This article was first published by the state owned Herald newspaper. Highlighted in italics are reminders of recent events in history.
