Ex-Miss Zimbabwe in messy divorce
By Gibson Mhaka
Former Miss Zimbabwe Bongani Dhlakama is embroiled in a messy divorce with her husband Bongani Ndlovu.
The couple have thrown all caution to the wind, accusing each other of poor sexual performance, among other issues. In court papers exclusively obtained by Sunday News in which Ndlovu was seeking a restraining order against Dhlakama, he said although they were still staying together, they had been using separate bedrooms since May 2019 after their relationship irretrievably broke down.
Ndlovu said it was around that time that they agreed that their relationship had come to an end, and the decision was communicated to their relatives. The couple have one child together aged two.
Through his lawyers Malinga and Mpofu Legal Practitioners, Ndlovu alleged that the supermodel was verbally and emotionally manipulative towards him, adding that the “repeated abuse” was being meted out to him in front of his children, maids and anyone who would be present at their house in Bulawayo’s Burnside suburb.
“Respondent and I were customarily married sometime in 2016 and we have one minor child together who is two years old. Prior to my involvement with the respondent I was married to my ex-wife with whom I had two children, one who is now at university and the other one doing Lower Six.
I also have another one who is 13 years old who occasionally visits. Over the past 17 months my relationship with the respondent has deteriorated to an extent that I can no longer have her under the same roof as me because of her continuous abuse towards myself and my children by my first wife,” Ndlovu’s affidavits reads in part.
Ndlovu claimed that he now lives “scared” at the thought of him and his children being poisoned by Dhlakama.
“On the 31st of August 2020, the respondent threatened to poison me together with my children. She has made it clear that she can carry out her threat upon my children at any time.
Prior to respondent sending me the WhatsApp message she had indicated to me that she could get rid of me by poisoning me and I would be gone for good. The said threat was uttered when I tried to engage her concerning her behaviour towards me and the children,” he said.
He alleged that his estranged wife has also threatened to enlist the services of thugs to “deal” with him. This was after his efforts to engage relatives had dismally failed.
“She further indicated that should I continue to seek help from family members and friends she will make it a point that I regret it. She also said that she will simply go and make a false report that I have assaulted her and I will find myself in prison where I will be sodomised and damaged forever.”
He further said in March this year, Dhlakama squandered ZW$20 000 that he had given her for deposit and first month’s rental and US$150 to transport her property.
This came after she had indicated that she wanted to move out, as it was untenable for them to be in the same house due to the breakdown of their relationship. He said he lost his job on 30 June 2020, as a result of Dhlakama’s violent behaviour as she was in the habit of going to his workplace to shout and cause a scene.
“Sometime when I was not feeling well, the doctor prescribed me some antibiotics, multivitamins and mineral syrup. I administered the first dose when I got home but later when I was administering the second dose, I discovered that the medicine was now diluted with another liquid I would like to think was water.
I discarded the bottle and got another one. When I engaged her on the issue, she made it known to me that she can do whatever she wants.”
Ndlovu then begged the court to consider his application as a matter of urgency, claiming his life and that of his children were in danger.
Responding to Ndlovu’s claims through her lawyers Vundla-Phulu and Partners, the ex-Miss Zimbabwe said her estranged husband approached the wrong court for relief.
However, she admitted that their relationship has irretrievably broken down with no reasonable prospect of the restoration of a normal marriage relationship.
“I accept that our marriage is practically over. If the applicant is to remove me from the property he must do so lawfully and for cogent reasons. I now sleep in a separate bedroom with my daughter.
This was a decision taken for my safety and also to avoid sexual imposition by the applicant. In spite of the abuse meted out by the applicant, he would still attempt to have sexual intercourse with me but I will not be in a position to entertain him sexually.”
Dhlakama also refuted abuse allegations and that she once tampered with Ndlovu’s medication and that she had also threatened to poison him and his children. She argued that Ndlovu’s life and that of his children were not in any danger except in his mind, adding that Ndlovu was the one who had abused her in several ways.
“I deny that I have abused the plaintiff and his children. I have tried to be a mother to the minor children, however, we failed to bond as a result of the applicant’s constant interference. I have never acted in a manner to cause harm to the children,” argued Dhlakama.
She then labelled Ndlovu a “serial adulterer” while giving explicit evidence of why their marriage had broken down.
“The applicant is a serial adulterer who I found at one point engaging in relationships with three women. This has caused grave stress to myself and emotionally.
The applicant did not apologise for his affairs but defended himself. In fact, he gloated about his affairs and insulted my femininity and my capacity to please him physically as a wife.”
She corroborated her claims by attaching a vile WhatsApp conversation in which they end up accusing each other of poor sexual performance. Ndlovu’s attacks read: “Go to your talk clever cassanovas who promise to marry you and dump you. Lawe awumnandi (and you too not sweet). Because of what or who you are . . . you’re not inspiring to any man . . . deceiving portraying beauty but full of rotten heart.”
And Dhlakama hit back saying: “F***yourself. You dumb barbarian. “Your p**** doesn’t do me really. You may think you didn’t want to sleep with me but I also didn’t look forward.
Even back then, you were just a lump of dead flesh. And you are weak. I felt like I was being touched by a woman.”
Dhlakama also disputed her estranged husband’s claims that he lost his job because of her abusive behaviour.
“He insulted his own superior at work resulting in problems for him. I deny that I caused the scene at his workplace. I went there to look for him since he had a habit of disappearing for days and not being reachable on his phone.”
In her ruling, presiding magistrate Adelaide Mbeure ordered Dhlakama not to physically, verbally and emotionally abuse her estranged husband and also not to go to any place or premise where he would be employed or carrying out his business.
Dhlakama was crowned Miss Zimbabwe in 2012 and held the crown until 2014 when another contest was held.The Sunday News