By Vickie Storm
Aargh, ever been in a place of self-reflection and wondered “What on earth was I thinking?” This is probably the best part of my life because I realise what Grace really is and how following Christ meant a Transformed life.
I set across the mirror doing my hair and stopped as I noticed a little smile which had been fixed on my face for a while. No, I actually had no one in mind or had suddenly won the lottery. In fact I had now been overwhelmed with the sense of peace in my life. Then I remembered as to how I got here.
It was about 10 years ago when my walk with Christ had a turn. I had been saved at a young age and quite frankly enjoyed my teen years as a Christian. I got to know God and simple made Him known in different places. So, life was cool right. However in my 20s things changed.
My Christian walk became a religious effort to tick all the boxes of a Redeemed, Sanctified and Holy church girl. I became the one with no fault (well in public Of course). Did you know it was possible to act in a “Christian way” and fit in? Just checking and making sure we are on the same page.
So I did just that.
It doesn’t mean I didn’t love God or believed in His Power but I certainly had the ability to be in church but not in Christ. You see, in the physical, it was easy to behave but in the spiritual, I was burnt out and outright done!
But what would my church say if I quit? You know everyone has an opinion and they believe that their opinion is superior. Yeah, am talking about human beings. The ones that God created, leading to Jesus dying for our sins, so we may be blameless and reconnect directly to God.
Yeah, imagine I chose the Humans. Yes, my humans were the Pastors, Church leaders, Mentors, The godly circle of church friends, yeah the ones in my opinion who would get me into heaven.
Out of fear of being cast away, shamed and losing a home, I felt best to stay and be religious, wear a mask and fit in. In the process I was beginning to lose my faith… but wait I can’t be trying to convince other people I mentor, to stick to religion.
In the process my heart was bleeding for help, my lungs collapsing and gasping for air, I just needed a fix that would last longer. But religion was not going to help. So I completely lost my mind so much that I QUIT church…..yes I did!
The best decision ever (after receiving Jesus as my saviour and of course sliced bread)
Soon as I quit I decided to hold a meeting with God and tell Him how this wasn’t working for us. That this relationship was coming to an end. You know the “it’s not you, it’s me, I need some time out”.
But God’s response captivated me when He said: “We haven’t been in a relationship in a long time, so what do you mean you want a break?” Even so, I hadn’t trusted Him to even see what He was capable of.
Oh my goodness, Oh my. I had completely lost who God was and who I was. I had spent time focusing on everyone else and ministry instead of the actual Giver. No wonder I was tired and done with church.
So, It took 1 year to be uprooted out of things and spend time with Him alone. As I trusted Him, He became my actual First. You see it’s easier to smile when your fix is everlasting, fulfilling one who is Christ. When His opinion comes First, it comes with a bag full of love, joy and peace.
I share now because I thoroughly enjoy the RELATIONSHIP with GOD and so can you, as soon as you quit religion and chose Him. Quit hiding behind people’s opinions and placing them above Gods’. Quit placing ministry and the feeling of feeling good above your relationship with God. In other words, CHASE GOD FIRST and everything will be added -Matthew 6:33
Vickie Storm is UK based media personality. She is also a qualified health care professional who also runs annual Christian camps in the UK. You can follow her blog: Vickie Storm