“What’s Wrong With These People?” … Images of and from Home

Opinion by Dr Alex T. Magaisa

Having been on both sides of the fence, the Diaspora and Home, I like to think I have a fair bit to share, especially with my colleagues in the Diaspora. There are certain stereotypes on either side, which both find extremely irritating and annoying.

For example, there is the stereotypical view that the average Zimbabwean in the UK is generally engaged in caring for the elderly. This not only typically annoys the Diaspora but it is also no longer a fair representation of the average Zimbabwean in the UK.

Care work may have been the typical first job for most newly arrived Zimbabweans a decade ago, but by and large, the demographics, skills and opportunities and consequently, the type of work have changed for most people.

In later years, young professionals joined the great trek and many of them have found a home in top businesses in the City of London and elsewhere across UK cities. There is also a whole new generation that completed their education in overseas schools and universities and is now gainfully employed in various white-collar professions. Likewise, I believe, in the US, Canada, Australia and other overseas destinations.

Equally so, there are certain stereotypes of home and the people at home widely held in the Diaspora, which are far removed from reality. Some people left more than a decade ago and have never returned home.

Mugabe was President and he is still President. But in many ways, the Zimbabwe they have in their memory is very different from the Zimbabwe that exists now. Shops don’t close at lunchtime on Sundays anymore; they are open till 8pm, others, like Bridge Spar 10pm?

They probably don’t know that a mobile phone SIM card now costs only a dollar where 10 years ago one had to part with a fortune to secure one. They left before the influx of cheap second-hand Japanese car imports – everyone in Harare seems to own a car these days!

They probably don’t remember that there is still only one television station in the country. Or that there is actually a football league and the Dynamos v Highlanders fixture is our equivalent of the Spanish El Classico! And I think Caps Utd still exists …

Our Diaspora contingent spends far more time on the internet (although we do actually have broadband and mobile internet, which works most of the time … But it is not cheap so we ration our presence!). Our Diaspora has a lot to say on matters at home.

It’s good that there remains this attachment with home; it would be sad if everyone abandoned home and wanted nothing to do with it. I have been there and I know the feeling – everyday, you want to catch up with home; you want to say something.

I am no shrink but I reckon it’s actually quite therapeutic. Facebook, Twitter and other social network forums have become favourite gatherings spaces where debates and discussions on the mother country are often conducted.

My own experience on both sides has given me a few insights regarding the way in which we look at and characterise each other. Some things can be a little bit on the annoying side. So I share a few of my observations, mostly from the perspective of the Zimbabwean at home:

1. We don’t like to be told what to do by people who will not do it themselves. We see you as people who found safe zones and we don’t think you have the right to tell us to do certain things that you can’t or couldn’t do yourselves. If you want to do something and if you think that’s the best for the country, please take the next plane home and do it. We will welcome you. We feel very offended when people try to lecture us from abroad about what we should or should not do.

2. We particularly don’t like or take seriously, people who think Zimbabwe is the best governed country in the world; who believe it is the leading light in Africa; who actually believe the West and its leaders are the most horrible things in the world but … but they will not come home to live in Zimbabwe and will instead cling to the last thread to maintain their stay in the horrible West.

They prefer not to enjoy the policies they applaud and instead choose to endure the “evils” of the West. For us, that lot is hypocritical and doesn’t deserve our attention. Even those they purport to support laugh at them at mere attention-seekers. “We never ask them to do all those things. They just hope one day they will be noticed. But takatowandisa kuno tirikudawo!”, quipped one official.

3. We don’t despise criticism but we reject completely the notion that we are weak and cannot stand for ourselves. We know our situation; we know the system that we are dealing with and the fact that we are here is because we have learnt to survive in tough conditions. We don’t see ourselves as victims. We are survivors.

4. When we complain, it is not because we are looking for sympathy, no. We complain because it is our right to do so. Please do not pity us. Like I said, we do not regard ourselves as victims seeking sympathy.

5. When you visit us for a few days or weeks, please desist from going away with the wild impression that all is rosy here. We have heard it countless times – “Oh, Zimbabwe is beautiful, I want to come back home!” But in reality very few ever fulfil this wish. Things are not all rosy here. It’s just that as per tradition we are very good at looking after our visitors. When you come here, you are our guest and we look after you well.

You never have to worry about food, water, etc With our meagre resources, we even go out of our way to find that delicious Road-runner chicken for you and you get to choose what you want to eat. At lunchtime, we take you to the traditional African restaurants in the Belgravia district of Harare where you can have all the finest dishes that you last enjoyed decades ago.

At the weekend, we might take you to the popular braai spot for open-air gochi gochi and you will think this is the best place on earth. After a couple weeks when you have to leave, you say to us you will miss home terribly; that you wish you didn’t have to go … No, stay here a little longer,my brother, and all that romantic view will soon fade bit by bit …

Stay a bit until that “visitor” tag is less visible and we expect you to travel 200 miles along the dusty and bumpy roads to go to an old aunt’s funeral in Guruve, where we will sleep in the open for two very cold nights; Stay a little longer, my sister, when we revert to our daily routine (because we have to survive) and you have to find your own way … Stay a little longer, my sister … And you will start missing your “home” in Stoke-on-Trent … And when Zesa goes, your kids will start complaining (ours have long since improvised!).

6. We know your view of Zimbabwe is what the newspapers tell you. Every morning you wake up and the first thing is to check the Zimbabwean news sites on the internet,if Google Alerts hasn’t beaten you to it. You find one story and that defines your Zimbabwe for the day and off you go, commenting no end. We see your spirited debates; your laughter; your pity; your bewilderment and oft-times, your embarrassment.

What is wrong with these people, you almost say to yourself. We are “these people” now because you can’t possibly be associated with us lot. But newspapers are written by people; they have their own takes on a story and a headline or a few paragraphs do not tell the Zimbabwean story. We only ask you to be open-minded and not to believe everything that you read in the newspaper.

In fact, you ma be surprised that those of us at home hardly read the papers – a paper costs a dollar and there are a lot of things that yo can do with a dollar. We live the reality and the reality is broader and more complex than the Zimbabwe that is presented in the newspaper.

7. Experts. Now, now, this one really gets our heads spinning. You see, we also watch satellite television. – there is something called DSTV here – it costs and arm and a leg but we spare a few of our dollars to subscribe because it is a great refuge point from our one and only television station. Until recently, we could rely on pirate technology such as Wiztech but someone decided that honeymoon is now over.

So we also watch BBC, Sky News, CNN, Al Jazeera, etc just like you do out there. And from time to time, especially during the recent election season we got to see many “experts” on Zimbabwe, commenting on our situation with some authority. We like the seriousness with which the experts carry themselves.

We are never told what makes them experts on us except that once upon a time they were born in Zimbabwe and at some point found themselves in foreign lands. But they speak with authority, as experts on things from which they are seriously far removed.

They even make serious judgments. They are thanked and they feel good – they have been on TV! With the election season over, they disappear only to remerge at the next election … Wheeled into studios to ye again share their expert views … Bless!

8. … And if you’re reading this and you feel offended or you are about to burst with anger, please calm down. We have learnt to live with trouble, trauma and sadness here and we deal with it through laughter … although you have to be careful because some things can get you in trouble with the police …