My disgust at the Miss Zimbabwe UK pageant

This is an open letter to Miss Zimbabwe UK organiser. I attended what was promised to be a night full of glitz and glamour on the 29th of August 2015.

Miss Zimbabwe this year was held at the very beautiful and picturesque Island hotel in Leicester. I must admit the venue was befitting the event. The Paris lounge were the crowning and dining took place was well presented for this black tie event.

The event was scheduled to start at 4PM. I admit I was late, but I am pleased I was, because the event only kick started at 10pm, six hours behind schedule.

The event opened to an almost empty lounge.

A few people were darted across the Paris Lounge and it was a very sad state of affairs. The flyer promised us two prominent host and hostess to the the name of Lester Msipa and Gamu Gore however they did not attend.

A random gentleman, I think as an act of desperation, took to the mic as masters of ceremonies. He did not have a clue as to what was happening and there was no programme to refer to.

The gentleman (his name eludes me) had a piece of paper which was kind of scribbled and he appeared to be way out of his league. He was so nervous it made me nervous.

DJ Sox was brilliant on decks, although I feel his talent was wasted playing to an empty event. The chairman, Simbarashe a.k.a Mugaratiya Simba (I think he was) who was also the ticket checker, the usher and at one point the MC did a lacklustre welcome speech.

I think Simba was either delusional or was showing true showmanship when he stood up in front of less than 30 people and called the event a success.

We were entertained by the brilliant Tsungi who belted her tiny lungs out to Miriam Makeba’s Pata Pata and the backing marimba and drums where absolutely brilliant.

My highlight for the night were the Kamikaze Test Pilots who treated us to all time classics from Zimbabwean greats. Their cover versions of Chitekete and Zuwere where off the chain. For an all white band I think they were very good.

The food was absolutely disgusting, If there are many ways not to cook a chicken breast that should be named as one. The chicken breast was dry slobbered in what I can only assume to be peppercorn sauce.

The starter I did not know what it was, so I did not even attempt. The dessert is another article. Again Simba ever the trooper chewed through this dinner and pretended it was amazing.

Remember this event started at 10pm, and obviously the courses were rushed through. The Judging panel, well there were some legends there in the likes Velvet Love Jones and Ashley Majaya. The rest I do not know who they were or what business they had judging Miss Zimbabwe. Take for example Miss Ghana who has been holding on to that poor crown for two years because no one else wants to have it- seriously.

The pageant contestants. This year promised to bring sparks on the pageant runway as the heavies of the Zim UK youth community took to the runway. Two big names stood out for me- Cecilia Kupera and Korrine Sky, both with a serious command on social media and entrepreneurs in their own right.

However the length of time it took for the pageant to start- I could not care less who won. This was also evident when the girls eventually walked. The performance was mediocre and some of the girls looked spaced out and hungry.

I was looking forward to talent but again it was cancelled. True to the professionals they are, Cecilia spoke of her charity and Korrine wowed me in her fabulous traditional gown.

Although Cecilia was crowned queen at the end of this disaster of a night, might I point out she was very late for the evening gown walk. If this was a true pageant with experienced judges of course, she would have been penalised heavily.

Having said that, I think she could have done better than be associated with this dying pageant. Being crowned in front of less than a 100 people is not what I think this high achiever hoped for. Korrine luckily came out unscathed she can go on and pretend this never happened as she did not place at all.

At the close of event Simba again still delusional, blamed everyone but himself for this train wreck. The self-proclaimed Mr Youth Empowerment did not empower or look after these girls well. I think Miss Zimbabwe UK is such a powerful platform for young girls to go on and do wonders for their community. This should be reflective of the patronage too.

In my humble opinion Simbarashe Nyanhanga is not the right person for it. He does not have the charisma and swag to carry it out (the guy turned up in an oversized white lab coat to the event for crying out loud).

The event was poorly organised and as a result poor attendance too. If he really cares about the young girls in the UK he should just step down and let someone run this event well.

For tickets ranging from £50 to £90 this was indeed daylight robbery and a poor way of spending one’s money. I was very disappointed in it all.

I know the likes of Lance Guma attended and Zimbo live did too, ethical journalism demands you to be honest and objective. Do not continue to blow hot air up the organiser of this event as this could be dangerous.

To the young girls reading this article, I would encourage you to look around and do your research before entering these UK pageants.

Miss Zimbabwe UK is definitely NOT one of them.

Concerned Reader

The full album from the Miss Zimbabwe UK 2015 pageant