Sekuru’s Last Dance …let the Fiddle play
By Chenai Chipikiri
The President and his party are fiddling … whilst Zimbabwe is burning. And speaking of fiddling, I had to chuckle to myself, “What the heck is a fiddle?” This of course was after the President stated that he was “as fit as a fiddle” to the bemusement of poor Tarzan, during that famous 90th birthday interview.
It turns out that, really, there is nothing ‘fit’ about a fiddle. At least not in the sense of fitness, as the President intended to convey anyhow. Apparently, when the phrase “as fit as a fiddle” was first coined, the intention was to portray whether it was “suitable, seemly”, or more simply “fit for purpose”.
So the fiddle is fit for purpose in making music. In that vein, is there anyone more unsuited for the office of President of Zimbabwe than Sekuru (a geriatric) given what was on display that night?
Now with that in mind, isn’t the joke on us Zimbabweans, that Sekuru, who can barely stand up without other human intervention, a senile man who can barely string together just two coherent sentences, without his mind wondering all over the place, thinks that he is the most suitable, most “fit” leader of a once great and proud people? Isn’t the joke on ZANU (PF) that Sekuru is the best they offered on 31 July and again plan to offer come 2018?
Isn’t the joke on Ngwena, a man, widely whispered to be the perennial contender for the throne? The man who is credited with mastering and engineering the “landslide”, only to be told via a birthday interview that “I am still here” seems hapless as to the way forward.
Where is his spine? What leadership skills set does he bring to the throne if after doing so much as is rumoured, he finds himself being recycled between Ministries, some of which have nondescript functions.
This is the same man whom the president himself has said, is unelectable following his severe back to back thrashing by Chebundo in his own Midlands backyard. If the democratic process within ZANU(PF) (if you can call it that at all) has rejected him time and again, this man has got a snowball chance in hell of landing the Zimbabwean presidency in a free and fair election.
Ngwena is doing his own fiddling through his surrogates at the Ministry of Information via the selective and controlled exposure of mega salaries. That story is going nowhere, as already is evident from Jacob Mudenda’s growls in the House of Assembly.
So yeah, the joke is on Ngwena for word on the street is he is the fiddler in chief. For Ngwena doth fiddles much on election night with those results. That is not much of a skill set to lead a country to prosperity. It might give you the throne but as Sekuru is quickly finding out, it does not put sadza (staple food) on the table for the general populace.
Isn’t the joke on Mother, that after 10 years waiting, and after the live incineration of the brave General, Sekuru turns around and says “I am still here!”? How will she stand up for the people if she cannot stand and speak up for family?
If they could not give her the throne whilst the “king maker” was alive, why should they do it now? Other than the fact that she has been a minister for 34 years and has acquired an education during the process, what leadership skill set does mother bring to the table?
She, unlike Ngwena, would probably be a democrat of sorts, at least given the support she seems to enjoy within the party structures. But Zimbabwe is bigger than the party and she has presided, albeit in the deputy’s role, over the most undemocratic organization in the world.
For goodness sake if your party cannot change a leader for 40 years, you cannot preach democracy to us! You cannot harvest an apple from an orange tree. Neither can a true democrat arise from an undemocratic political party system.
Word on the street is that Mother and the General made strategic blunders in 2008, when they failed to out themselves as sponsors of the Simba Makoni project. I believe that would have been a game changer and Zimbabwe would have been a different place today.
That blunder cost the General dearly and may have put paid to mother’s aspirations. And if it is true that, public enterprises are under her portfolio, then her rush to defend mega salaried chefs explains a few things and you then understand why one faction is smelling blood. They have her by the throat. In a free and fair election, however, only those on the people’s side will triumph. Mother still has to come to the people’s side.
And when you think about this further, isn’t it a sickening joke on the General that having survived the Rhodesian bullets, bombs and fires, he meekly succumbs to a little candle in the wind?
Is this the same General who in 2008 rallied the troops for the “Bhora Musango” campaign which broke the Camel’s back? Word on the street suggests the General having made his point to the throne, then stopped the throne from conceding the 2008 election.
One too many tricks for the General, wouldn’t you think? The fire at Alamein Farm on 15 August 2011 needs to be understood in this context.
The subsequent “Bhora Mugedhi” campaign of 2013 and the exuberance of Ngwena and his acolytes following the announcement of the designer election results is instructive on this matter.
Yes it makes sense for Sekuru to announce “I am still here”. He could have added, “Ko mungandiitei?” (What can you do to me?). The General, for all his prowess, made one misstep and Zimbabwe’s trajectory changed forever.
Isn’t the joke on all those in the power matrix that sustains Sekuru? At the snap of a finger they perish? Just like that. Like the General on that fateful night in 2011. Like Tongogara before him. Like Mahachi the other year. Or if you are lucky, you could just be retired unceremoniously.
As happened to the great “straight jacket” Zvinavashe that year! With loss of office comes the loss of significance, loss of clout, loss of access to the cookie jar. Jonathan knows about that and testifieth, “It is lonely out there Comrades”. Mavhaire can also add a voice of wisdom.
And speaking of Mavhaire have you heard the joke about his return to the fold after his “Mugabe must go” speech in the 90’s.
Apparently after being ostracized he begged for forgiveness saying he had been misquoted as what he actually said was “Mugabe must go………on”, but the “on” had not been captured because aikakama (stammered) and the reporters had not heard the full sentence!
It worked obviously and now he is charge of ZESA. But I digress….
My point to those in the military establishment is, you are just tools fit for one purpose and one purpose only. Fulfilling one man’s desires! Only one man. Don’t give us the sovereignty mantra. Don’t give us our resources mantra. Don’t give us the safeguarding of our liberation mantra.
Zimbabweans are too intelligent for that. You end up being the joke. There is not a single Zimbabwean, who wants to see the return of white supremacy in our country. Nyika yedu yakauya zvachose in 1980 (our country was freed for good) and we get it.
We just need to move forward now that we are free from slavery and racism. How can we move forward if we are in a permanent state of war based on fake enemies created by a failed leader, who revels on nothing but war? For goodness sake when was our country never at war during the last 34 years?
Maybe, and just maybe, our leader knows nothing else other than war. He is wired for war and so war language is everywhere. Operation this, operation that and operation the other! Hehe…Operation Maguta hehe Operation Hlalani Khuhle. What next? And what became of those operations.
Nzara nenhamo mumusha tende (Hunger and poverty everywhere). Just remember, our boys and girls didn’t die in the bush so that one man rules. They died so that we could be free. Free from racism, free from exploitation, free to choose our leaders, free to choose our collective destiny and yes free to associate with whomsoever we choose. I could go on but I know you get it. You are not fools. Just afraid. That is all.
Finally yes, Zimbabwe isn’t the joke on all of us? And the joke would be very funny were it not so tragic. You see, the joke wiped out 20 000 of our nationals in Matabeleland. We all stood and watched. The joke swallowed a whole opposition party in the name of unity and in so doing robbed us of democracy.
We all stood and applauded. The joke decimated agriculture in the name of land reform. We all stood akimbo. Then the joke came for the rest of us. It pillaged, and brutalized, and robbed, and chocked and raped. Yes, the joke raped us all.
That is why there is so much national shame about being Zimbabwean. It squeezed out all our life savings, wealth, respect, humanity, blood, and yes, even our tears. Our currency became too ashamed to witness what we had become. So it melted.
After a stolen election of 2008, we all went into a trance due to the shock at the grand theft, hunger, thirst and disease.
When we awoke from our trance behold multi currencies had taken root. And it just so happens that the joke and his acolytes become the new rich. At a time when getting US$.50 to catch a kombi into town is a task and a half, the ruler from nowhere suddenly has US$300 000 to appease a runner upper in a stupid contest in South Africa. Or US$10 000 donated at a funeral. Who does that?
How clumsy is that when your nation is drowning in hunger, thirst and disease due to your failed policies? This wealth being flaunted was all accumulated overnight. Just like that. In the twinkling of an eye, all our wealth in the country has somehow found its way into the pockets of the joke and his cronies.
You want to know why? We dared to reject him during the 2000, 2002, 2005 and the 2008 elections. How dare you reject the man who died for this country?
Yes the joke is on us because despite him transferring all our wealth to himself and his cronies, despite him destroying our livelihoods, despite him destroying our healthcare and ours and our children’s futures, we the people on 31 July 2013 turned up in our millions (more than at any other time) and unlike in other years, voted for Sekuru (so ZEC and the Command Centre tell us). Seriously?
Sekuru’s well paid apologists will always try to rationalize his actions and inactions over the years. But we know that everything has always been about one Robert Gabriel Mugabe. Everything he has done has always been about power.
Interestingly one of his chief courtiers and speech writers recently conceded as much in one of his most candid weekly rumblings. The chaotic land reform and the new empowerment programs were all about one Robert Gabriel Mugabe after he felt his position threatened when the war veterans demonstrated against the looting of the War Victims Compensation Fund in 1997.
After the elapse of the Land Reform provisions of the Lancaster House Constitution in 1990, Mugabe sat on his laurels and did nothing in spite of controlling 117 out of 120 Parliamentary seats over the 1990-1995 Parliamentary Session.
Again in 1995 ZANU(PF) won 118 out of 120 Parliamentary seats. What use did ZANU(PF) put these majorities? So don’t ever lie to us about the constraints of the Lancaster House Constitution regarding land reform in the 1990’s.
Mugabe created a fake bilateral war with Britain in order to appease a restive nation following the looting of the War Victims Compensation Fund and the subsequent award of hefty $50 000 payments to War Veterans which in turn helped spike inflation following the collapse of the Zimbabwe dollar.
The DRC adventurism of 1998 did not help matters as it stretched the already overburdened budget. The 1999 formation of the MDC was a direct result of Mugabe’s misadventures as the workers rallied against rising prices and food shortages.
Yes, Mugabe created the MDC by default. He then had the audacity to turn around and accuse the MDC for being a front for British interests. Zimbabweans are too smart for that. And that, Sekuru, is why the people will always vote for the opposition. But for now, Sekuru enjoy your final dance…..
Tendai Biti, Elton Mangoma and Morgan Tsvangirayi are busy torching down their own house…what better birthday present could anyone ask for?
Chipikiri is an independent voter and analyst and can be contacted on email@example.com