Gen Nyikayaramba- the nude lunatic at a funeral

By Moses Chamboko

Imagine you are at your in-laws for a funeral. Without warning, a lunatic turns up in a birthday suit just as the priest is leading mourners in the final proceedings and runs towards the coffin. Elderly people run around to try and find anything that could cover the naked body. Youths struggle to contain their laughter.

The middle-aged don’t know whether to laugh or to move away. The priest looks up in the sky and prays for a miracle to happen. The only person who sees things as normal is the unwelcome mourner. This characterises what ZANU PF may be going through following Nyikayaramba’s recent moment of madness, assuming they still have a semblance of conscience.

As if the prodigious damage recently inflicted on the moribund party through a plethora of flip-flops was not enough, Zimbabweans were shocked to hear dangerous outburst by the moronic army boss who has joined the ever-growing band of sycophants, some of them writing from the comfort of Bondi Beach. There are times when the difference between ignorance and psychosis can be very narrow. This was one such moment.

Is Nyikayaramba aware that there are people called diplomats in Zimbabwe who brief their countries and leaders on a daily basis on developments in the country including careless statements such as what The Herald was not even shamed to print? Is the Brig-Gen aware that reformation of security institutions is one of the most contentious issues that Sadc is currently seized with?

When he goes public with such treasonous and disastrous statements, what good does he do to the ZANU PF argument that security services are professional, non-partisan therefore should be left alone? Was it because of bitterness due to loss of income at Copac that the literally unschooled general carelessly lost his mind?

If President Mugabe was as powerful as we once believed he was, this man could have been demoted or sacked for further weakening ZANU PF at this crucial juncture. Unfortunately, Nyikayaramba knows that whatever he says or does, nobody will read him the riot act because he has every detail of how President Mugabe dismally lost the last election.

He knows very well that Tsvangirai and MDC don’t even need to campaign to win an election if it is free and fair. It is this popularity that the uninformed general confuses with “national security threat”. If anything, a security threat is an army officer who disregards a popularly elected leader who is now Prime Minister simply because Mbeki had other ideas for president.

A security threat is an Attorney-General who believes that his mandate is to serve a political party and not the nation. A security threat is a Commissioner-General who reduces the police to an extension of a political party. A security threat is a Registrar-General who refuses his boss to view the voter’s roll but extends red carpet welcome to chairman of an unpopular political party.

A security threat is a group of “tired but not retired” generals who stand before the nation and proclaim that a certain candidate shall be president regardless of the outcome of an election. A security threat is an army general who wishes to impose the timing for national elections before the nation is ready.

A security threat is a uniformed officer who does not know the essence of an election or believes that it is just a periodic formality. Above all, a security threat is a senior soldier who disregards the Defence Act while his colleague uses the Police Act as toilet paper.

If Nyikayaramba is sober enough in equating Tendekai Muzorewa and Dumbutshena to angels despite their blood-soaked hands, then one wonders what accolade would be most befitting for Tsvangirai considering that the only blood on him is that of his bleeding heart following a decade of unrelenting persecution by shameless hoodlums who masquerade as security officers.

The plot by desperate radicals to try and turn Tsvangirai into another Jonas Savimbi or Alfonso Dhlakama as a pretext to crush him and his party will fail. Zimbabweans know the kind of future they want and deserve, no amount of intimidation will distract them from creating it using democratic means. Somebody once said “never in a thousand years” – we have heard this before.

Moses Chamboko can be reached on [email protected]