Is Chinyoka a Zanu PF agent?

By Tinomudaishe Chinyoka

Mzwake Mbuli, the South African poet, was an inspiration of mine. The man had a way with words. He would take very simple words and load them with so much meaning that you thought oh my, I never saw it that way. One word, he changed the import and meaning of by just pronouncing it differently was ‘thoroughly’. On Mzwake’s lips, it was  ‘thorafly’. I don’t know why, but it just sounded more thorough than thoroughly. 

Why do I say this? Because I am very upset with Zanu PF. No, I understate the fact, I am right royally thorafly miffed. Why, if I was that young man Kuda Musasiwa on Facebook I would be using more usable language, but sadly, the best I can say is, ‘we are not best pleased.’

All this time, trying to find enough money to survive, and they have been holding on to my salary! The nerve. I mean, if I am your agent, the least you can do is pay a ni… (Kuda please, stop corrupting my thoughts),..a man his dues, no?

So I wake up to my new found fame, and friends and family, plus those in the know, egging me to either share the loot or reply and I say, no. I will not dignify this perfidy with a reply. But the attacks continue, and then I start to thinking: what on earth have we done to ourselves?

Have we become so Zanufied that we cannot see the hypocrisy in what we do and say? Have we been so thorafly f….(Kuda, please, language my friend) messed up with that we are conditioned to think like they want us to?

An interviewer asks Nkosana Moyo: ‘Do you think that Mnangagwa would run Zimbabwe better than Mugabe?’ Now, surely any right thinking Zimbabwean should know that there is only one answer to that, no? The only difference would be how the answer is phrased. Kuda (I have decided that I like that young man) would likely say ‘Yu damn right he effing well would, ni… please’, or something like that. I am old, so I might say ‘I thinking every person in Zimbabwe plus his mother would’. Nkosana Moyo on the other hand, being an honest man, says ‘Yes of course, because I really think he would’.

And what do we, in our collective Zanufication all say? Nkosana Moyo endorses Mnangagwa for president! People! I mean, hello! Houston calling, come in please!

Nkosana Moyo is talking about a new kind of politics. It is a seductive message, which is hard to resist. It will entice many people from their parties. That is inevitable.

But that means it will also attract attacks. Some informed some not.

Misinformed will include the ludicrous claim that Nkosana Moyo was ever a member of Zanu PF just because he was appointed into cabinet, when everyone knows that he was a non-partisan physicist managing a successful business who found out during the 8 o’clock news that he had been made a minister without anyone bothering to talk to him.

Misinformed means believing that by resigning from cabinet on principle rather than stay and share in the gravy train, Nkosana Moyo showed cowardice. It is called bravery, no?

Misinformed means believing everything you read in the papers and running with it, including giving some of us ‘jobs’ as CIO agents,  without considering that there might be facts we are not privy to that might make a seemingly obvious thing nor as it seems.

Misinformed means attacking Tinomudaishe Chinyoka as a Zanu PF agent on the basis of photos with Tsvangirai and Nkosana Moyo, while at the same time encouraging people to vote for Themba Mliswa in Norton.

Misinformed means calling Nkosana Moyo a Zanu PF plant while supporting a man who lives in a Zanu PF mansion, gets a Zanu PF government pension, and flies on a Zanu PF government issued diplomatic passport.

Misinformed means thinking that anyone who dares to oppose the Anointed and Entitled  Opposition is a Zanu PF agent, despite the truly Zanufied manner in which said opposition runs its affairs, models its offices on the Zanu PF template (3 VPs, honestly, even Zanu did not go that far) and attacks Nkosana Moyo more than Zanu PF does.

Morgan Tsvangirai in 2013 went to Rusape and addressed a rally with Simba Makoni. Now, Simba Makoni, according to prevailing wisdom, was another Zanu PF project. Is the MDC working with Zanu PF?

Joice Mujuru was a Zanu PF cabinet minister and VP for 34 years. Morgan Tsvangirai has addressed rallies with and is in coalition talks with Joice Mujuru. Nkosana Moyo says he will not do a coalition with Joice Mujuru. Who is the Zanu PF agent?

Like Kuda Musasiwa so eloquently put it the other day: Morgan Tsvangirai withdrew the whip from Tendai Biti and others, then decided not to contest the by-elections, thus donating seats to Zanu PF. And Tinomudaishe Chinyoka is the Zanu Pf agent? N****r please!

Fadzai Mahere is challenging a sitting Zanu PF MP for a parliament. A Zanu PF MP, I repeat. And suddenly she is part of a Zanu PF ploy to split the vote! Seriously? What have people been smoking?

Morgan Tsvangirai asks Nkosana Moyo, “where are you going to get the people? Have you been to Mbire?” And I ask, who is the sitting MP in Mbire? Zanu PF. How many times did Morgan Tsvangirai go to Mbire when he was Prime Minister? Zilch. What has the MDC done in Mbire? Zilch. How many people do you have in Mbire? Nkosana Moyo will have more votes there, I tell you that.

Our politics needs to outgrow the personal. It needs maturity. No, Morgan. Politicians do not have people. Nkosana Moyo has no people. Neither do you. We the people, will choose who we hire for the job of President, which we are going to advertise next year. And Nkosana Moyo will be looking for votes from people that voted for Zanu PF and MDC in 2013. With an agenda that is grounded in the people’s aspirations, offering his core values and competence to deliver on that agenda. And that is the only currency that sells, core values and competence.

So this “heee Tinomudaishe Chinyoka is a Zanu PF operative” nonsense, this “Mahere is a plot to split the vote” rubbish, this “Nkosana Moyo is a Zanu PF plant “hubris is nothing but hot air. Let’s have an election based on substance. Hot air, as we know, floats away. What gets left behind must be capable of anchoring our country better.

Otherwise we all become Zanu PF agents by campaigning for them. Because that is what we do when we snipe against agents of change and progress with unfounded claims about jobs some of us do not have. I am thorafly miffed. It is time to do something about it.