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How cold is it out there, Cde Jonathan Moyo?

Opinion by Moses Chamboko

Discouraging and attacking disgruntled ZANU PF candidates standing as independents while singing for his supper with the warped belief that Tsholotsho North was fait accompli, Jonathan Moyo advised his fellow comrades “it is cold out there, I’ve been there before”.

Moses Chamboko
Moses Chamboko

Little did the opportunist political chameleon know that the rigging machinery would not be ubiquitous. ZANU PF targeted specific constituencies for manipulation but it would appear that Jonathan Moyo was too busy misdirecting his energies elsewhere, forgetting his own backyard!

If he did not overestimate his chances, then something was happening in the background that he was totally unaware of.  If indeed he is a strategist as we often hear, then his was a strategy that went awfully wrong. Inonzi tamba wakachenjera!!!

With the two prodigal sons from diametric parts of Zimbabwe, Jonathan Samkange and Munyaradzi Kereke smiling all the way to parliament, what is going on in Jonathan Moyo’s mind? It is time to turn to the master’s benevolence for survival?

He has to literally go down on his knees (if he hasn’t done so already) as Chinamasa did after the Dinyane fall-out in order to get any post. Should cabinet be elusive, a diplomatic posting could be an option. In this game, anything is better than nothing.

However, if that were to happen, he would probably be one of the worst diplomats of all time. Probably competing for the top prize with one Reward Marufu who was sent packing by Canadians after disregarding all diplomatic etiquette at every turn.  Yes, you have guessed it right.

We happily welcomed him home with a reward of one of the best farms and also gave him a generous package from the War Victims Compensation Fund after his obnoxious claim of disability, courtesy of the Polish-trained medic who masqueraded as a medical doctor.

If I had any say in Jonathan Moyo’s future, I would probably suggest an ambassadorial posting to Somalia or Afghanistan if no university accepts him back. Indeed, it would be good riddance to bad rubbish!!!

Challenging his defeat at the hands of Roseline Nkomo, the former legislator appeared to be reciting a script from the MDC’s Book of Electoral Challenge, word for word, when he cited massive irregularities from voter registration, to polling, all the way to the final count.

From the way he attacked the notorious ZEC mafia, you would be forgiven for thinking that he was an MDC candidate who had lost to ZANU PF. What’s good for the goose must be good for the gander, Mr Nutty Professor!

Given our experiences and fresh memory of the past three decades, the “new” cabinet is going to be nothing but simply “more of the same”, to borrow a mantra from Australia’s Tony Abbot. Even deadwood would like to have a piece of the cake as Kumbirai Kangai (or Cde GMB) was destined for.

But the living God of Abraham, Jacob and Isaac had sealed his serendipity already.

Taking a cue from Nathan Shamuyarira, principled, pragmatic, intelligent and diligent men such as Eric Matinenga know when to say “I’ve played my part, it is time to move on”.

In the house of shame, the looting brigade and vultures will be out in full force to grab whatever they can before sunset. Nobody knows which direction the next leader may wish to take after the grand exit, be that person come from ZANU PF, MDC or Madhuku’s Dreamers Party (MDP).

So it is going to be yet another long season of “make hay while the sun shines”

Corruption will continue as before if not worse, lawlessness will soon be a norm and misgovernance will develop new dimensions. The new constitution will be patched until it starts looking like an over-decorated Christmas tree. This is the abnormal that is perfectly normal in the world according to the party formed on 8 August 1963 in Enos Nkala’s house. RIP but makatisiira dambudziko!!

In all this, the greatest and worst sufferer as well as loser will be patients who will find that hospitals revert to being places to die, children who will soon discover that schools resemble museums, civil servants who shall struggle to put food on the table, let alone afford bus fare to and from work, the economy, which will become more and more informal.

I can imagine David Coltart, Henry Madzorera and Tendai Biti wondering if they are having a nightmare or watching a horror movie.

Unemployment will skyrocket unabated, supermarkets will look like tuckshops while fuel stations may start advertising “we sell fuel” as if they are designed to sell madora, majuru or harurwa. Ndizvo here zvinodiwa nevanhu?

If we were to spare a brief moment as a nation and kneel down or bow our heads and pray, our prayer should be explicit and specific “Lord, grant President Mugabe the wisdom and courage to listen to his innermost voice and do the right thing for Zimbabwe in his last days”. There is never a wrong time to do the right thing, I believe.

As for the MDC (all variations), there is no better time to do some serious introspection while making that arduous but necessary journey back to the drawing board guided by a very simple but imperative philosophy;  Re-strategise, Re-align, Re-launch.

Moses Chamboko writes in his personal capacity and can be reached on [email protected]

  • Semhalo

    Jona and Chiyangwa were left out of the Nikuv scheme for a purpose!

  • Driden Kunaka

    Why don’t you ask that question to perennial loosers like Tsvangirai snd MDC. Chambokp you are a shameless hypocrite

  • Dambudzo

    In what way is the writer a shameless hypocrite? Why do you want Tsvangirai to answer a question directed at Jonathan Moyo?

  • Chikwavaire

    Uku ndiko kunonzi kubwereketa. Waita hako Wezhira. Regai vabe nekuita zvavanoda, inguva yavo. Asi chinokanganwa isanhu!!! Jonathan akashaikwa paNikuv nekuti anopaparika. Zvaiswera zvafumuka.

  • Dri den Kunaka

    You mean directed to Jonathan Moyo. I want the question to be directed toTsvangirai because he is a perennial looser as I stated before. This Chamboko boy is a desperate Chamatama arse licker.

  • informer

    Excellent article! Any Zanu brainwashed fools and looters reading this will be bursting nehasha..

  • cde Tongo

    And this moron fcalling himself Driden Kunaka is already bursting nehasha because these fools, thugs, murderers and looters are strangers to the truth. They enjoy listening to their own lies coming out of The Herald and Dead BC. Unfortunately, the world has become so small and extremely efficient in terms of information dissemination. Let the fool keep on dreaming but the truth has been told. Keep writing bro!

  • Ndangariro

    Iwe Kunaka, an arse licker is one who does not know the difference between “looser” and “loser”. You even use the same wrong word many times. Kana Chinotimba aiva dofo mu class menyu, ndiye aiva group leader wako. Dzako fungwa dzakanatsa kuoora pachi ZANU chaipo!!!! Munoti kana mazvimbirwa nemari dzeropa moita semusina kukwana. Ndizvo zvinoita ngozi. Chi CIO chekubatira pamusoro iko zvino mongoswera muchikomenda zvamusingazivi. Wakaroiwa nevakafa.

  • Looser Kunaka

    Kunaka akazvarwa chembere dzainda kudoro, siyanai naye vanhu havazozivi mupengo neasiri. Munyori ati “Kunze uko kuri sei sei nhai mukoma Jonso?” Takamirira mhinduro ine musoro kwete marara anonyorwa nana “looser Kunaka” Instead of wasting time on this forum, why doesn’t “looser” Kunaka enrol for night school?

  • Munhumutema07

    Blaz ane murder uyu. Ndivo vanyorizve ava.

  • Robalitheka

    Never you be fooled by Zanu PF. Jonathan’s backyard was not rigged for strategic reasons. To create a façade and give the elections a semblance of ‘credebility’. His court action is exactly that, a charade. Watch this space, in true Zanu PF style , he is destined for bigger things!!! That’s why Zanu PF stole the election under our noses, because tinokabira too much like fish in water!!!

  • Chief Musikavanhu

    Nobody ever said Jonathan Moyo lost because of rigging. What is VERY clear, which is also comes out in this iarticle is that he was not helped by the rigging mafia. Chiyamngwa was not helped too. If everry other candidate had not been helped, ZANU would be very luckly to have more than 50 seats in parliament unless they create extra constiuencies in UMP where the dead come back to live every election time. Go there now, there are no people, call for elections, you find tens of thousands!!! Robalitheka ndiwe unokabira zvusingazivi ndosaka unchishandisa zita rinonyadzisa. Ask those from Beitbridge, Plumtree, South africa or Botswana what your name means and you will NEVER want to use it again!!!

  • Kenzo

    Inonzi Zanu-PF iyoyo kana kuti Ziva Anokupa Nyembe Unopawo Pfumvu Fararira