Paranoid Zanu PF in self-destruction overdrive

By Moses Chamboko

Self-appointed ZANU PF strategist and spokesperson, Jonathan Moyo, together with a good number of ZANU PF MPS and ministers, are likely to be actively looking for a job by Christmas if they don’t intend to go into full-time subsistence farming or small-scale mining.

Former Finance Minister, Samuel Mumbengegwi, who is now an ordinary lecturer at Great Zimbabwe University (if he hasn’t been sent home yet), may advise some of his erstwhile colleagues on how to construct a marketable resume’.

Paranoia and desperation have reached such a crescendo within ZANU PF circles to the extent that they are now seriously decampaigning and destroying themselves, wittingly or unwittingly.

The latest episode saw Jonathan Moyo directing his traditional diatribe at the South African Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs, Ebrahim Ebrahim.

The deputy minister’s only “crime” was his correct postulation that the MDC had a “legitimate argument” with regards to demanding reforms before elections, in line with the GPA. If anything, Ebrahim only repeated what Sadc and the generality of Zimbabweans have been saying for the past four years.

Abusing him, thereby indirectly attacking his country and government, will not help ZANU PF in any way but further alienate it from key partners in the region. Thabo Mbeki crafted the GPA, not Ebrahim, not Zuma. This is a classic own goal by Jonathan Moyo, central defender of a team heading for relegation.

The senseless incarceration of Solomon Madzore was another legendary case of self-destruction. Can’t ZANU PF see that by making him a perennial political prisoner, they are actually turning this young man into some kind of a super hero?

Madzore won’t need to waste scarce resources campaigning for a parliamentary seat. ZANU PF has already dished him one on a silver platter through a sea of sympathy votes that he is likely to receive.

Zimbabweans can be merciless when they get into the polling booth! Ask Abel Muzorewa or Ian Smith if you have any doubts.

Simon Khaya Moyo, once believed to be a rising star, displayed the highest level of naivety (if not inanity) when he recently urged some compromised and unholy church leaders to vote overwhelmingly for ZANU PF together with their flock.

It was incredible to hear the ZANU PF chairman saying “don’t vote for thieves”. Indeed, Zimbabweans are not going to vote for thieves Mr Khaya Moyo, and they know very well where to find them!

The latest Coca-Cola advert was another fuss which confirmed that ZANU PF’s paranoia has crept to unprecedented heights. The Herald, occupying the void left by the defunct People’s Voice, was quick to say that Coca-Cola’s red label was a clear indication that the company was propping up the MDC.

A manager with the company correctly reminded ZANU PF that the business has been using this brand for 125 years.

Subsequently, one commentator on social media warned “if you happen to have nose-bleeding during this election season, make sure that the blood is green or some other colour but not red lest you are persecuted for being an MDC supporter”. I can’t comment further.

Confirming that the house of shame is indeed crumpling or at the very least in serious disorder, an article in The Herald of May 14th titled “Baba Jukwa – Legion of Malicious Engagement”, left readers wondering if ZANU PF will be intact by election time.

The writer threatened unnamed ZANU PF officials believed to be disguising themselves as Baba Jukwa with unspecified action. Reading this curious article, one could easily conclude that things are falling apart in the former ruling party.

Speculation and theories around Baba Jukwa’s identity have now been put to bed for it is evident that the prolific social commentator is not only a reliable source of information, but also pivotal to the disintegration of the former revolutionary party.

“It is saddening to note that as we move closer towards the watershed elections, we see the rise of some misguided elements in ZANU PF party working to destroy the revolutionary party from within by engaging in malicious and unholy alliances with the MDC-T party”, mourned the writer.

“They are people who were appointed by the ZANU-PF government to influential positions erroneously with the hope that they were mature, basing on academic and professional credentials they have”. Curiously, the writer was very quick to vindicate Jonathan Moyo.

When a wolf wants to eat her puppies, she will accuse them of smelling like sheep.

We wait to see who will be the sacrificial lamb as elections get closer. Let us reserve the most entertaining Manicaland episode of Dorothy Mabika versus Didymus Mutasa for another day and trail the factional tsunami currently gravitating towards Masvingo.

Moses Chamboko writes in his personal capacity and can be reached on [email protected]