LONDON – A 33 year old woman originally from Zimbabwe is making international headlines after deciding to stay in the same house with her husband and lover.
“People might think it’s weird but I love both men and couldn’t choose between them,” the mum of two told the UK Daily Mirror.
Maria Vogel Butzki, 33, originally from Bulawayo, now shares the family home in Barking, London, with her children Laura, 16, and Amy, 12 and the two men in her life Paul Butzki and Peter Gruman.
Maria, who grew up in Saurcetown and did part of her secondary education at Northlea, was 15 when she met Paul in school and she fell pregnant with Laura two years later. The couple got married before they had their second daughter, Amy, but the relationship hit a rocky patch in 2006.
Maria said “Paul was out of work for six months and it put a strain on our relationship. The stress led to less sex and we grew apart. Although we carried on with life – cooking, cleaning, looking after the children – we’d lost our intimacy. The relationship was more brother and sister than a couple.”
When Maria left her husband Paul for another man, she didn’t realise how much she’d miss him. At the same time, she couldn’t imagine living without her new lover Peter Gruman. So when the two men struck up an extraordinary friendship, she came up with the perfect solution… and moved Peter into the family home in Barking, East London.
“When I left Paul there was a huge hole in my life. But the thought of never seeing Peter again was heart-breaking. So living with both men is the only way.”
Incredibly, the men agree. Paul, a railway assessor, says:
“Peter is a great guy. When Maria first had the affair with him I was just heartbroken. But as I got to know him, I realised we have so much in common. We both adore fishing, and he’s like a surrogate dad to the kids.”
Peter, a construction site manager, adds: “We all get on so well. It doesn’t feel as if I’m sharing Maria. There’s no jealousy …it feels as if we are a team.”
It was last year that they all moved in together after three years of Maria to-ing and fro-ing between her husband and lover. Peter sleeps on the sofa while Paul has a room upstairs. Maria shares a bedroom with her eldest daughter.
She says: “The three of us never share a bed. Although I have a sexual relationship with each man, that side is kept very private. If Paul is out, then Peter and I might make love, and vice-versa. But both men turn a blind eye and we never discuss it with one another.”
“Some people are shocked, mostly because they get the wrong idea and think it’s some sort of threesome,” she says.
“Most people seem to think I should just remain with Paul, but those who see all of us together think differently.” She adds: “There are huge benefits to living together. For example, as Paul and I leave for work early, Peter is often able to take the children to school.
“Ultimately the children benefit from three adults able to help with school work or give them lifts. Financially too, it makes sense as the bills are split three ways.”
Ironically, Maria is now the one who sometimes gets jealous. “I’m left on my own when the pair of them go on a long fishing trip,” she says.
She’s unsure what the sleeping arrangements will be in their new house. “But we would never have any sort of rota where I sleep with Peter one night and Paul the next. I do know I’m very lucky to have two wonderful men in my life.” Daily Mirror
To help maintain editorial independence Nehanda Radio relies on donations from readers like you. No donation is too small or too big. Help by donating to fund our operations.