UK woman from Zimbabwe living with her husband and lover in same house


LONDON – A 33 year old woman originally from Zimbabwe is making international headlines after deciding to stay in the same house with her husband and lover.

“People might think it’s weird but I love both men and couldn’t choose between them,” the mum of two told the UK Daily Mirror.

Loved up: Paul, left, Maria and Peter
Loved up: Paul, left, Maria and Peter (Picture by Daily Mirror)

Maria Vogel Butzki, 33, originally from Bulawayo, now shares the family home in Barking, London, with her children Laura, 16, and Amy, 12 and the two men in her life Paul Butzki and Peter Gruman.

Maria, who grew up in Saurcetown and did part of her secondary education at Northlea, was 15 when she met Paul in school and she fell pregnant with Laura two years later. The couple got married before they had their second daughter, Amy, but the relationship hit a rocky patch in 2006.

Maria said “Paul was out of work for six months and it put a strain on our ­relationship. The stress led to less sex and we grew apart. Although we carried on with life – cooking, cleaning, looking after the child­ren – we’d lost our intimacy. The relationship was more brother and sister than a couple.”

When Maria left her husband Paul for another man, she didn’t realise how much she’d miss him. At the same time, she couldn’t imagine living without her new lover Peter Gruman. So when the two men struck up an extraordinary friendship, she came up with the perfect solution… and moved Peter into the family home in Barking, East London.

“When I left Paul there was a huge hole in my life. But the thought of never seeing Peter again was heart-breaking. So living with both men is the only way.”

High five: One big happy family (Picture by Daily Mirror)
High five: One big happy family (Picture by Daily Mirror)

Incredibly, the men agree. Paul, a railway assessor, says:

“Peter is a great guy. When Maria first had the affair with him I was just heartbroken. But as I got to know him, I realised we have so much in common. We both adore fishing, and he’s like a surrogate dad to the kids.”

Peter, a construction site manager, adds: “We all get on so well. It doesn’t feel as if I’m ­sharing Maria. There’s no ­jealousy …it feels as if we are a team.”

Gone fishing: Pals Peter and Paul
Gone fishing: Pals Peter and Paul

It was last year that they all moved in ­together after three years of ­Maria to-ing and fro-ing between her husband and lover. Peter sleeps on the sofa while Paul has a room ­upstairs. Maria shares a bedroom with her eldest daughter.

She says: “The three of us never share a bed. Although I have a sexual relationship with each man, that side is kept very private. If Paul is out, then Peter and I might make love, and vice-versa. But both men turn a blind eye and we never discuss it with one another.”

“Some people are shocked, mostly because they get the wrong idea and think it’s some sort of threesome,” she says.

“Most people seem to think I should just remain with Paul, but those who see all of us ­together think differently.” She adds: “There are huge benefits to living together. For example, as Paul and I leave for work early, Peter is often able to take the children to school.

“Ultimately the children benefit from three adults able to help with school work or give them lifts. Financially too, it makes sense as the bills are split three ways.”

Ironically, Maria is now the one who sometimes gets jealous. “I’m left on my own when the pair of them go on a long fishing trip,” she says.

She’s unsure what the sleeping arrangements will be in their new house. “But we would never have any sort of rota where I sleep with Peter one night and Paul the next. I do know I’m very lucky to have two wonderful men in my life.” Daily Mirror

  • Martin_Shaisamufaro_Luther

    What this airhead doesn’t know is that these men are actually making a fool out of her.

  • Kudakwashe


  • Chief

    The end time is here

  • Mpumi

    If African men can have multiple wives, why can’t women have multiple husbands???? Or does male chauvinism control our culture?

    • Rue

      Because 1. Two wrongs do not make a right. 2. Because we are better than men. If women lose it, there is no hope for human race. That’s why in our culture, women who drink and smoke are looked down upon more than men who do. If you want to excercise you woman’s right to do what’s wrong, don’t cry foul if you lose respect. There is always a price to pay. One day those two fools will wake up and leave the tart. Where will she be then, huh?

      • chaibva

        She will be at her home with kids.

        • Fox

          At some point the kids will stop respecting her as well. She will have nobody to turn to and will be in shame. Its been three years since the story was published. i wish the journalist will make a follow up and update

        • Fox

          At some point the kids will stop respecting her as well. She will have nobody to turn to and will be in shame. Its been three years since the story was published. i wish the journalist will make a follow up and update

        • mai Bee


    • Chikuyochisamarengu

      The fact that we( men) pay lobola to the wife’s family, is why they can not have multiple husbands! If i could have a woman who can pay lobola to my family, i would allow her to have it her way……LOL!

      • kanya

        Paying lobola is not a problem. Women are making a lot more money than in the old days. If it takes only 60k for me to have a husband and couple of lovers i will pay it tomorrow.

      • mai Bee

        If it was that way there would be peace in the whole wide world. Women hev love and peace bur men are prone to listen to their relatives about how wrong their wives are. If wives paid lobola the would would be a very happy place!

    • truth be told

      Absolutely right, you are: it’s male chauvinism; it’s double standards; and it’s subordination of women. Consider this: why don’t women pay lobola in the Zimbabwean context? Of course it’s a cultural mandate but it’s unfair to guys too (double standards in an era of equality). The material motivation is everywhere, even for this threesome!

    • inizvangu

      You are thinking of prostituting yourself because some men do it? Flawed logic!

    • Methinks1

      And your point?

    • mai Bee

      Kikiki aah ndaspakwa. But to me this is taboo as I don’t even believe in mens polygamy. Mashura anoitikita mudunhu

  • Pascalia Tinashe

    Ko hanti makaradhi,haana hunhu

  • Vincent Zindoga

    i won’t stay

  • Lovemore Mukwena

    Ari kushandisa muviri zvinemusoro

  • Mai Nicole

    A woman for a change, hanti vamwe varume vanogarawo ne more than one woman in one house kkkkk

  • Celia Ushe

    what a fool.

  • Annatiwi Mutasa

    uuuuuuh chipari ka ichi taiti varume ndivo vanobvumiirwa hey aaaah zvirikuvaitira mainini

  • Tashinga Dengezi

    set aside cultural differences. Equal rites. Poligamy balanced….

  • Romel Thembelani Nkobi-Ndlovu

    hmmm only in essex

  • lala

    nigga lets give this bitch a lesson lol

  • Ezra Emani Zabanyana


  • Rajah Wishy

    Pornographication z wat corrupted her mind otherwise sexologist Rajah has advised th public nt to panic as this is a common phenomenon apon prostitutes in their sisterhood and brotherhood



  • Admore Moyo

    Mukadzi uyu zvinoreva kuti ndiye akaroora.

  • Meet Other Singles Zimbabweans in United Kingdom

    MuNdebele mukadzi uyu nekuti hakuna mushona anoita zvakadyi kugara nengochani mbiri,

    • Mandla

      Wafarisa hure.

  • Richard Muwata

    1st tyme in History 2 dis stupid thng I nv dis even in da bok of Records

  • Nelly

    this woman must be sweetoooo……i need one like hers….damn.

    • Big Daddy C

      Nelly…She is full of sweet nothing…Do you know that drink sweetoo?How does it taste?????Thats her…..

      • Nelly

        with that explanation i just got so disgusted…nasty, u are so damn right

    • mai Bee

      Kikiki talk bout the energy to certisfy 2 men? One is too much oooo

  • pamasku

    Yikaka le yona. These guys r gay anyway and she, shame on her. Prostitution at its tips

  • equalrights

    Hey…who am I to judge

    • Sonny


    • mai Bee

      U just judged! Lol

  • Honourable General Bizimungu

    ayas hazvisi zvechihure-hure izvi?

  • William N Rusike

    Nonses devil is at wrk.

  • Pinky

    kushoresa isu ma keda as we are affectionately known nxaa

  • Rodger Mutengezi


  • Bone Crusher

    They will finish her completely and dump her… Stupid woman, SHE IS FINISHED.. Now they will turn to the kids.. SHAME…

  • Lazarus Huku

    This woman must be punished and killed.this is misuse our culture.

  • Kuda

    These two men look Gay no wonder they would co exist like that. Its not about her but about them (The two) Its a perfect triangle where the two guys are in fact the ones in love and she woman thinks she is great in bed. Makaradhi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Ruey

      You know Kuda, you could be right. Otherwise, its just too weird. One wonders what happens on those fishing trips she is complaining about. Maybe she is the one being taken for a ride thinking she is clever.

  • Peter Madzenenga

    This is nonsense

  • stopper2011

    God have mercy on this women that she come to realise before its too late,The Bible clearly states that man shall leave his family and women and become one flesh .It didn’t say two man will leave there families and one women .Its clear abomination least we don’t say it out.

  • Biggy Mhanda

    Ndookushaya nyaya uku . this is a fake story.

  • Phil ZamaMtimande Mvelase

    Iwe Meet other singles Zimabbweans in United Kingdom yeuNdevere yazopinda papi pa nyaya iyii kwanhai semari yebhazi mxxxxxm nonsense

  • Rue

    “Some people are shocked, mostly because they get the wrong idea and think its some kind of threesome.” It is some kind of threesome, even if they don’t all sleep together (so they say), but the difference is the same. Marriage is between 2 people. This is what we call barika(polygamy). The woman is loose and wacko. The guys need to have their heads examined honestly. For someone to do something like this is bad enough, but to think its so cool that they can shout about it, it means they are beyond help.

  • Rex Nhongo

    manenji sure sure! Its the GMO stuff or mind altering drugs that have given them an unhinged take to life….varume vacho vanotopenga zvekupenga zviya. Anywhere it is there life but i feel sorry for the kids. brought up in such environment, being exposed to this lifestyle and obviously now that the story is out in public, they are now being mocked by their peers. ramangwana ravo harina kujeka!!

  • Rex Nhongo

    Proves a point tho….life in the UK is not easy and people are going to any lengths to survive. dzokai dande muyamwe!!

    • Chabwino

      But Cde Rex….. I thought you were dead and buried?

      • Cde Rex Nhongo

        Takaipa Takaipa….vaida kundiuraya zvakaramba. Actor haafe…..

  • Big Daddy C

    This woman is a fool, a bitch,crazy..Cant she smell a rat a mile away?She is even abusing her kids..Reading about mum staying with two men like this.What do the kids say,feel or think?What are other kids saying to her kids or about her kids.These men are just finding a way of them loving each other openly they are gay for heavens sake..Going fishing and think it ends there.It is a shame to even be associated with her.Imagine what everyone is saying…Think of the kids stupid woma-selfish..

  • tinto

    mandevere mahure evanhu, but pamafesi aya hapashaye ari kupisa chimwana icho or ingochani idzo

    • Annoyed by tribalists

      wena tinto amatswina izifebe zabantu…..nxi donki yomuntu

      • Chabwino

        Come on guys why are you insulting each other like that? None of the people in the weird story are either Shona or Ndebele in any case. In case you have forgotten, we are well into the 21st century. Gone are the days of Mzilikazi and Changamire Dombo!

    • Cde Rex Nhongo

      iwe zvibate mandevere chii chacho?

    • Major Musango

      taura hako

    • Mwana webvu

      tinto u illiterate idiot who thinks everyone from byo and is beautiful is ndebele, nja yothuvi! Svina eliphila ngamagundwane! Ufuz uyihlomkhulu uMgabe shit!

    • Colonel Nicholas J. Fury

      shut up

  • Dogstar

    Bloody sick pervets

  • Valentine Manyau

    POLYANDRY at its work.yep.the two men are homosexuals.they are the ones benefitting from this nonsense

  • David Mugwazi

    Ndiko kunonzi kupenga uku

  • Bee

    Cant stop vomiting…….

  • Moses Marukutira Muvungani

    Varume ava havana basa nomukadzi uyu nokuti ivo vanodanana se ngochani .Huye mukadzi uyu will get her children abused ne varume vava . Unofunga kuti vakapusa here varume ava.Vese vane zvavarikuwana pazviri, Pane ka secret karipo kekuti ukakanzwa bvudzi rinomira.Nyika yaparara!

  • Sonny

    I do not know what the fuss is about. What people do in their private quarters, gay or not, does not ever put food in my plate. It does not affect my well being because Mary is Jane or with Peter and Steven, or Steve is with Paul. I have more problems that are more immediate than being the moral cop of other people when the value systems we are often born into as often as diverse as we all are. I am living a stress life because of minding my own business. Thank you. PS By the way the blokes that rush to Ndebele this, Shona that, Makharadi just cheapen the commentary thread all the time and stave off the sanity of the discussion and derail its direction. Ndo huduzvi manje when you do that njalo yibulema nxa lawe uphendula.

  • Wellington Mukanza

    iyi ndiyo minana manje tjo

  • pcmavhura


  • joey

    What? Cant biliv this

  • Farayi

    If this was a man, would we have some of these derogatory comments? If it’s working for them let them be, better than some people living double lives.

  • Nyamavende

    These two guys are bonking each other

  • Chokwadi

    Hapana chinoshamisa apa, they’re comfortable in their skins while you not. In the UK its very common to have husbands take their wives to swingers clubs where they’ll have sex with their lovers. Most of them watch and some participate. There are tons & tons of swinging sites where people who aren’t into that advertise for meet ups. Those husbands love their wives more than most of you being abusive here. Such arrangements eliminate the need to cheat(which hurts others feelings more, mopedzesera maakuurayana nemapanga mabatwa), unlike most of you here who are being cheated by your wives behind your backs whether you like it or not ndiyo iri kutambika muma basa umu. Ini this arrangement handiikwanise, but it doesn’t mean I should blast someone who has tried it and found it worked for them. Instead of chastising this trio, look at your own relationships that need fixing and do something about it quick.

  • Chokwadi
  • survivordate

    ah ah ah not even has stories like this!

  • Tavaziva

    these 2 gay men vakawana cover yenzenza.

  • Evans

    This is a timing bomb my dear.Better you choose one I prefer that you choose the father of the children before it is a catastrophy to the whole family.

  • Mashoko Kuwanda

    In Zim we have no such a stupid culture. The lady might have lied that she is a Zimbabwean.

  • BOSS

    Makeda, mandevere…………need i say more

  • PrettyBambino

    hapana zviripo those two are just trying to convince the world and their families kuti ey arent gay otherwise ndonyaya mukadzi uyo is just a cover up nd gettin finacial help in return kutotorwa pikitsha.zvakaoma

  • Fairgame

    Vakadzi barika tinorigona zvakanyanya its only that hatina kunge takapihwa mukana nesociety,Variety tinoidawo chaizvo ,kusvotwa kunoita vanhurume nemukadzi mumwe ndiko kwatinoitwawo nemurume mumwe.Uyu zvake akazviwanira varume vanonzwisisa.

  • Major Musango

    The Gruman guy may be aiming for your daughters………… out

    • Chiquary Ras

      They are not straight, they are butty bwoy.

  • Rude Gal

    i do understand her coz i was in the same situation once. but at the end of the day, you cant love two men at once..thats a total lie! theres is only one that she loves might be that she feels sorry for one of them, but she doesnt love both. when i was in that situation, i sat down and thot about it and realised that i loved one more that i loved the other. but its possible..not to that point tho.

  • inizvangu

    Those guys look gay.Kahure nengochani dzako!!

  • Kk

    A lot of the comments in regards to Lobola are incorrect. A man does not pay Lobola so he can dictate what his wife can and cannot do. That would mean all men eho paid Lobola paid for another human being. Lobola is more of a respect thing between families.

    Secondly, she is sharing her story with you and if she could share her happiness with you too that would be great cause what sad life some of you live. Judging and name calling like you are of a higher power.

  • Nelly tinde

    Very sad indeed and what are the children learning from this crooked bitch?

  • Methinks1

    Regain akwigwe

  • Hure

    MaNDERE Mahure ??? in the late eighties shona women slept with dogs and were filmed doing it at least Ndebele Hures sleep with Humans!!!

    • darlington mrewa

      are you sure.

  • Fair Jungle

    these guys are surely not as stupid as she views them. What lessons is she giving to her children. Let the kids grow and she will wake up one day with one of the dads gone with one of her girls

  • Kandy Ri

    The two men are falling in love with each other. #gay

  • darlington mrewa

    Two gay men and a sick coloured woman ….whats new ?

  • Dick Mbolton

    Mupfuhwira iya yapengesa vanhu manje

  • Snipper1

    kikikikikikiki kwaaaaaa hanzi “it feels as if we are a team.” Kwaaaaaaaaaa

  • Sellassie Army

    the story is 3yrs old.

  • sa

    making a fool out of her

  • Bayethe muzukulu

    What’s the chance of finding two fools living together. These men are brain dead and this woman has a Jezebel spirit. What?

  • Ngwekazi

    Hey lady wake up. These two men are making a fool out of you. When they go fishing they take their loved one there and not one of them will report each other coz they are doing the same thing. Whats wrong with these children? Tell your mom whats she’s doing its wrong. I wonder if the whole house go to church! If this lady was black would have said something but since she is coloured/white, it might be her culture. Am proud to be African.

  • McHy


  • itu

    i think the men are busy having sex when they go on trips together. Wake up woman, your men are gays

  • JOSH

    its called polyandry believe still being practised in TIBET