Through the Wire: Welcome to church, leave your brains outside

By Lance Guma [twitter-follow username=”lanceguma” scheme=”dark”]

Vice President Joice Mujuru provided some overdue comic relief over the weekend when she bizarrely declared that President Robert Mugabe was anointed by God to lead Zimbabwe at the age of 10 years and those fighting to replace him are wasting their time.

“It was prophesied way back in 1934, when he was only 10 years old, that he was going to lead this country. How can a normal person challenge such a leader?” she said.

To Mrs Mujuru, we say the more appropriate question to ask is ‘how can a normal person (a Vice President for that matter) say something like that?’

Unfortunately Mujuru was not kind enough to share with us who had made this prophecy, but we are guessing maybe it was ‘Bishop’ Nolbert Kunonga. This would probably explain Zanu PF’s disastrous support of the man who locked out thousands of Anglican parishioners from their churches for over 5 years.

Welcome to Church, Please leave your brain outside

This week I had to share a picture that I was tagged in on twitter.

I will agree it is a bit provocative but I think given the whole hullabaloo over Prophets Emmanuel Makandiwa and Uebert Angel, the picture puts into perspective why these ‘prosperity gospel’ preachers get away with some of their antics.

There is no culture of questioning religious figures!

“Touch not the Lord’s anointed” is the often abused disclaimer or excuse given all the time. The followers of these preachers are also fond of making threats at critics of their church, leaving one to wonder if they are still Christians in the true sense or just a mafia.

I found Prophet Angel’s claims of producing miracle money outrageous and an insult to the intelligence of religious Zimbabweans. Would that money have serial numbers?

Given that producing fake notes is a criminal offence, what would be the approach of authorities to the ‘production ‘of such money? How is it accounted for in the system?

From ‘Prophet’ Angel we go to ‘Prophet’ Makandiwa’s church where one of the pastors or followers, Takura Rukwati was claiming that:

“In UFIC, God is doing some mighty, outstanding and strange miracles like women being in labour and give birth in less than three minutes, the Hebrew women anointing. Ambulances will rush for the women, but sometimes it will be too late. We have a curse breaker in our midst!”

To this I call upon Albert Nyathi’s famous quote in a song “I will not speak”.

You can judge the ‘believability’ of these claims yourself. But dear people you can see why Mai Mujuru will go to a function where she is just supposed to officially open a church building and then she decides to turn it into a rally. She expects the same gullibility.

Dual citizenship a crime, but not murder

Two weeks ago co-Home Affairs Minister Kembo Mohadi re-emphasized the Zanu PF stance on dual citizenship warning that it was a criminal offence. We all know the policy is aimed at marginalizing exiles perceived as anti-Zanu PF because a significant number fled state sponsored political violence and murder.

“We do not allow dual citizenship in this country, when someone gives birth in a foreign land they are supposed to be given what is called a birth acknowledgement note which informs us of a birth of a Zimbabwean outside. This is then used to acquire a birth certificate in Zimbabwe,” Mohadi said.

It’s astonishing that a man implicated in the murder of Lutheran World Federation employee Strover Mutonhori in 1999 could be lecturing us on criminal offences. Mutonhori disappeared from the Omadu Hotel in Kezi and his remains were later found in Mzingwane outside Bulawayo.

Allegations were that he had had an affair with Mohadi’s wife Tambudzani and the then Deputy Minister of Local Government ordered a hit on him. The case remains unresolved despite strong evidence suggesting Mohadi wrote a letter to Mutonhori trying to meet him. Mutonhori refused and was killed with weeks.

Although the police later interviewed Mohadi, who was then Deputy Minister of Local Government, Public Works and National Housing, he was later promoted to Home Affairs Minister in 2002. This effectively put a stop to any chance of a proper investigation, since the police fell under his Ministry.

Mutonhori’s family have kept up the fight for justice. In January 2007 they sought the intervention of the Attorney General and the President’s Office to try and open up investigations into the murder case. But it was reported that the docket for the case disappeared and the evidence tampered with. [twitter-follow username=”lanceguma” scheme=”dark”]