By Fanuel Nsingo
It all happened a decade ago in Marondera when Robert Mugabe held his campaign rally outside Rudhaka Stadium in the open grounds.
As soon as I got seated, I began to sense this heavy burden on my shoulders. It felt like a craving to fulfill a very special assignment. That is when I became excited as if possessed.
The wait wasn’t too long though, as dictator Robert Mugabe finally arrived. That was when I discovered the reason for my excitement. I had been afforded a rare chance on a silver platter. It was an opportunity many have yearned for but failed to materialise.
It was an opportunity others had gotten but failed to utilise. My opportunity was to assassinate the self-imposed president.
My uncle, who used to be a Central Intelligence Organisation (CIO) agent ran around in circles, visibly eye-sweeping the seated improverished masses that included myself, of course. Mugabe’s security staff were armed, and soldiers had spent almost a month in Marondera in preparation for Mugabe’s arrival.
It was to ensure total security.
Then suddenly all hell broke loose as Mugabe ascended to the podium. I roughly calculated that Mugabe was at least 70 metres from where I was seated. I felt the burden on my shoulders become more and more unbearable. The more I viewed Robert, the more I felt like doing something.
The more I investigated the dictator’s face, the more my bleeding heart became ‘erect.’
The ground was suitably level since it is always used by local soccer teams including surrounding schools. The atmospheric conditions were favourable too since I was now spirited like a hunter, ready for the kill. But the mood amongst the gathered was visibly suppressed.
I began to celebrate at this God-given opportunity. I imagined having a revolver fitted with a silencer, aimed at Robert Mugabe. My word, he was so near and well-positioned!
I could fire with either of my hands and wouldn’t miss, since the angle at which I was facing the dictator was perfect. I could fire and roll either to the left or right on top of the seated crowd, to spare my life for a few seconds using them as human shields, before Mugabe’ s snipers finally took me out.
I could brave Mugabe’ s security and start shooting whilst running towards him, sacrificing my life in the rebellious but historical act. I had so many options. What a catch!
My roving hawk eyes suddenly fell on Mugabe’ s seemingly heavy, bulging chest, and I quickly ‘prophesied’ he would be wearing a bullet-proof vest, thereby prompting me to aim straight at his face.
I slowly but cautiously closed my right eye in order to avoid a quick shutting of the eye that would seem like a wink and thereby attract his security agents’ attention, as I tried to zoom in on my target at a curiously probing rate of 10 metres per-half- second without a telescope.
That’s when I ‘grabbed’ his whole face, crystal clear and perfectly suiting my plans. I then zeroed-in on his forehead. My! Bull’s Eye! I began to salivate in a rendition of the gun-licking assassin, Antonio Banderas, in the movie, The Assassin. I then ordered myself , ‘Relax, just wait a lil’ bit!’
I, too imagined myself licking my revolver for the great assignment it was about to accomplish, in an owner-weapon mating fashion. In the underground world, the weapon is rewarded before it gets the job done, lol!
The dictator continued misfiring empty-threats at Britain as if he was addressing a British audience or journalists, but I must admit that was the only part of the speech that I ‘overhead’ as I was still entangled in my weird world of imagination.
Now, this brings me to the next presidential elections. It is a case of Robert Mugabe being his own ghost that haunts himself. It is him that has cast a bad spell upon himself!
Over the years, we have proved how Mugabe’ s state security agents have continued to leak very sensitive government information. The status quo has bred highly expectant mood swings in favour of the MDC, therefore what can stop Mugabe’ s agents from leaking relevant info to the other side in order to secure themselves an accommodating future?
Grace Mugabe is uncertain of her children’s future after Mugabe, who may fall prey to revenge by Mugabe’ s enemies, therefore she may accept any bounty, since she is the closest to the ailing dictator.
It is not as hard as you may think to convince her to switch sides since she can’t take it any longer living with Mugabe under the most uncomfortable ‘climate.’
Since the assassination of Solomon ‘Rex Nhongo’ Mujuru, the army and other security clusters, that include ZANU(PF) heavyweights and war veterans remain divided, providing a much-easier and significant loophole to plan a Desire-Laurent Kabila approach that will catch the continent and the whole world unawares.
Even reshuffling the security clusters won’t help, but will worsen the situation as the newcomers may be deployed with orders already given to complete the task.
As the general feelings intensify of a probable MDC government, countries like China and Russia may also individually secretly volunteer to deliver Mugabe to the slaughter. This will ensure that their interests in Zimbabwe will remain intact even after Mugabe is gone.
Many Zimbabweans have long suspected that Robert Mugabe has always eliminated his enemies through pre-planned accidents.
To prescribe Mugabe a taste of his own medicine, there may be a need by his enemies to also trap him in the same way that he has eliminated others, in order to give substance that his was actually an accident.
There could be further attempts to eliminate the dictator through penetrating his overseas doctors that he so much trusts with his soul.
Hahaha! This then leads the ZimRadicals to conclude that Robert Mugabe is finally cornered. The next campaign season will be very hard and unsafe for Robert Mugabe due to his many enemies that he has crafted since 1980.
His enemies would surely try to eliminate him knowing fully the MDC would be blamed. It would be much safer for him to stay indoors and rather die in the hands of his concubine, Grace.
Fortunately, this will work in the MDC’ s favour since Mugabe and his agents have been terrorising opposition supporters in the past. This time around, the tables will be turned against him.
The ZimRadicals can bravely state that there is nowhere to run for Robert Mugabe, let’s just hold our breath as the fireworks are about to ‘crack.’ As soon as I regained consciousness in my Weird, Weird World, I discovered that Robert Mugabe’s motorcade was already leaving, heading towards the capital city, Harare.
Damn, I had lost ‘the target!’
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