The arrogance of the penis: Tendo Shares

By Rutendo Tapiwa Chigudu

I am sure I do not hold these sentiments alone although I might be alone in voicing them. I am seriously disgusted by the behaviour of some of the members of the opposite gender. It appears as if they have no sense of decorum at all.

There are quite a number who just arbitrarily yank out their winkies from their trousers and point at some tree, wall, wheel or whatever feature is convenient at that particular moment and wee! Thank goodness beings move, lest we would have cases of children that have been on the receiving end of these seemingly haphazardly irrigating human pipes.

(I would bet my bottom dollar that there are cases, even animals that have been urinated upon although no one would admit to it- whether they have been the urinator or the urinatedee.) The case of that musician who did it on some under-age girl is something else that I shall not use as evidence in this particular case.

So common place has become this practice (of urinating anywhere else but inside a W.C (pronounce this with the accent) as the French call the little room) that one actually anticipates that the next man is gonna whip out his willy and take aim anytime!

This is one of the most disgusting practices that men have gotten away with notwithstanding the fact that law prohibits it. To note that this is done not only by drunks but even those men with whom one would associate sobriety is even more alarming.

Excuse me for not having a penis, but I think that that particular piece of anatomy is one of the least visually appealing body parts on men and should just be kept hidden from unrestricted spotlight, even when there is no one ‘watching/looking’ or within eyesight.

Even if I were into penis watching, I am quite sure that I would not want to look at just any! Surely it was no fluke that it was designed to be buried inside Ms Vagina during intercourse!

Speaking of which…. I think that the penis ought to have come with a head that had a brain. It cannot just assume that every woman its master comes across must get a nod of acknowledgement (worse encounters have it standing to attention!) Such a gesture is just uncouth and coarse especially when it is for any chance woman, which is usually the majority of the cases.

And mentioning uncouth, there is yet another thing that men do that just riles women all over the world. It occurs during another of these ‘leaking fluid’ events that humans engage in.

The ugly looking member having engorged and become as turgid as can be, and thus finally become eye-catching and, promising fulfilment and pleasures galore, only manages a few strokes before spewing out spermatozoa!

(Okay, this is probably not its fault but that of its master who, in most cases, lacks self-control and knowledge of how to illuminate pleasure in his partner and this incidentally, serves as one reason to campaign for Peepee to have his own brain.)

I want to believe that it wilting upon ejaculation is its own way of trying to blush on behalf of its master who lies spent, unaware that if progenies were a result of female orgasm, the human race would have probably faced the fate of the dodo.

Yet such is the arrogance of the penis that it shall still rise to nod for another woman, erect for another attractive one whether she reciprocates the feeling or not, it shall insist and agree to coming out from the covering of clothing to urinate on some feature and ultimately, it shall vomit into Ms Vagina after being sexified. Such arrogance!

Rutendo Tapiwa Chigudu is an award winning literary and performing artist/feminist who firmly believes that we are all entitled to human rights regardless of our age, gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orienatiion, traditional/cultural background.